Steve Is Alive

Monday Night Return

2010-10-11T19:58:00.003-04:00

I need to get back to this old school blog of mine (see my last 2938279 failed attempts). It feels like that crappy hooded sweatshirt that you can't seem to donate to Salvation Army (because it has your HS Football number on it - not speaking from experience or anything), but fits 0h-so-right.

So to start things back up, we're picking a Monday Night Football winner in what is shaping up to me the most talked about MNF event in awhile.

Vikings 22 Jets 9

There you go. Take that for what it is worth and be ready for this "page" to be dominating the Internet every night.

We're starting slow, kids. I need a minute to read up on how the blogosphere changed since I took my leave of absence.

(oh ... you make stuff up and pretend it's real news ... OK ... got it)

Come Back

2010-09-16T12:35:00.001-04:00

Entering the ring, to this jam.

Stay tuned.

Oh Hi, Didn't See You There

2010-05-17T20:34:00.004-04:00

Yeah I remember this spot.

Un-organized. Non-sensical. Pro-Steelers. Pro-Sour Patch Kids.

Good joint.

Totally felt nostalgic today and wanted to do work back on this Hammsterdam (besides running around Bristol look a goober, I've dove headfirst into The Wire. Awesome) of a blog. I miss this little guy. Great times we're had over the two years this blog ran rampant around the internets.

While I've been writing and creating videos for SC.com and the ESPN Facebook page, I wanted to re-launch/update this spot. So, hopefully, time permitting (moving again) I can update this nightly/every other day with some of my videos from SC.com and ESPN. As well as my opinions on everything Pittsburgh. Fun, fun, fun.

Here is one of my favorite moments so far, as I have returned to the camera -

Wow ... I Finally Pay Homage To This Here Blog

2010-03-01T20:52:00.004-05:00

I have completely neglected this blog.

I apologize greatly.

I would not be where I am today without this goofy little piece of work I called my blog for the better half of two years.

... I've been a busy man lately.

I never updated what my "GIANT NEWS" was and for that ... I am sorry.

But, if you follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or are a close personal friend you know whats up.

And if not, watch me fall on my tush, attempting to Curl (ESPN video won't embed on blogspot, so click the link, goobers).

There are still some minor details to arhn out (cross our T's and dot our ... lower case J's?!?) but, I should be able to let you all know that my pie faced mug will be gracing the pages of SportsCenter.com from here on out.

The main goal will be to bring the fan inside ESPN and talk with athletes, anchors, and anyone else who patrols the halls of Bristol. Also, we'll run around and make goofy videos, like this one.

Keep going to SportsCenter.com - my life and free will depends on it.

And as always, the best Steelers blog on the World Wide Web, One4TheOtherThumb.com where I should hopefully be able to continue my mediocre contribution.

Steve-Is-Alive-Is-Alive.

Wow. The bad jokes never end on this page ...

More to come.

Stay classy, friends.

GIANT News!

2010-01-18T12:22:00.003-05:00

Hi.

The lack of blog posts has been due to my extreme focus on the upcoming events in my life (No, I have not been re-watching all five seasons of LOST to get prepared for the final season - not a bad idea though).

The GIANT news I have promised for quite some time has finally come to fruition, but you'll have to wait to know what it encompasses....

What a jerk I am!

No really though, I should be able to discuss it later this week. Hopefully you will enjoy and follow along for the ride!

Actually, you will be forced to.

I will announce said "news: on this here blog, Twitter, and Facebook. So if you care that much, you wont miss it!

On a side note, the picture has nothing to with the aforementioned news. BUT, if anyone can name the manager (the smaller of the two), I will send you a Steve-Is-Alive coffee mug. Valued at $4.25.

Boy am I excited!

Bob Costas can relate ......

By The Way....

2010-01-08T14:38:00.005-05:00

I made it back alive and well from Vegas.

My wallet however, did not. Damn you, Roulette.

BUT, I did get some excellent video footage of the World Series of Beer Pong. Yes, the World Series of Beer Pong. Stay tuned for that madness...

Oh, and the Steelers failed to make the playoffs (you know this unless you're on of my seven readers in the North Pole). I'll talk about that later when I feel it is OK to cry on my keyboard.

In the meantime, the off season firings and rumors have started......you should be attending daily therapy sessions at One For The Other Thumb.

"Hi my name, is Steve and my favorite football team lost to the Browns in 2009."

"Hi Steve!"

We're all friends over there .

Hey 2010, bring it.

More to come, people. Hopefully we'll have some REALLY good news in the days to come....

LETS GO PENS!

The Return Of The Greatest

2010-01-08T13:37:00.004-05:00

If you don't know, now you know (link).

The greatest video game of all time is making it's return to the "Wii" variety of Nintendo gaming systems. NBA JAM is back, baby!!!!

"Heeeeeeeeeeeee's heating up!!"

"Heeeeeee's on FIRE!!!"

"Booooom-shaka-laka!!!"

Without NBA JAM, these phrases would not be part of our everyday lives. How else would I be able to display my excitement at the grocery store? "Buy one, get one on Tostitos Queso!?!? BOOOOOM Shaka Laka!!!"

If you never played NBA Jam for SuperNES, I want you to discontinue your subscription of Steve-Is-Alive. Seriously, you can keep your $97.95.

Side note: You can credit Clifford The Big Red Dog, wiffleball, Highlights Magazine, and NBA Jam for shaping me into the mature grown man I am today.

The re-release of NBA Jam has got me all gitty inside and has made me start to budget my coins for a Wii system. And yes, this is exactly what the geniuses at Nintendo want to hear. Bringing back such games as Tyson's Punch Out, Super Mario, and now, NBA Jam will only bring super nerds who had no friends in the 90's (like myself), back to the Nintendo world. I acknowledge this and will abide by Nintendo's wishes just like the drooling troll that I am. As soon as the piggy bank is full.....off to Best Buy, I go.

And let the record show, even with updated rosters of today's players like LeBron, Kobe, and Dwyane Wade......no team, and I mean NO TEAM will be better than the original Houston Rockets squad of Hakeem Olajuwon and Vernon Maxwell. What do I base that on, you ask?!? How about my ten year dominance over my brother Eric and any and all challengers..... with only THAT Houston Rockets team.

Olajuwon would work the post on offense and defense - no shot would get past him. V.Max would set up in the corners and drain three's in your face. It's a winning combination that can't be beat. It's science really.

If there is a way to have The Dream and Maxwell face LeBron and Shaq (or Kobe and Gasol), I'll put money on a Houston Rockets victory. Mark it down.

So, when this game graces video game stores with its presence, be sure to give me a call, order some pizza and come on over - the door will be open. We got ourselves a daily activity that will make our girlfriends seek new prospects!

I'm so excited, I want to break something.......

Listen To Wesley Snipes.....

2009-12-30T11:21:00.002-05:00

As if I haven't broadcasted it enough, I am headed to Las Vegas tomorrow night.

Never been. Don't know what to expect. Headed with seven good buddies. Packed a suit. Here we go.....

Numerous individuals have given me advice, and recommendations for my preparation heading into Sin City. While all have been great and I will follow most, none have inspired me more than the words of Wesley Snipes in the cinematic classic, Passenger 57 -

Want to know an awesome fact? - I wore #57 in high school football, because of this movie.

I also plan on being firmly planted in a sports book on New Years Day? Any game wagers I should be looking at?

Oh, and....

This will prob be my last post before I return on Jan 4th. So, Happy New Year!

But, more importantly......

HERE WE GO STEELERS!

Also, Go Bengals (ick) Go Patriots (barf barf barf barf barf) and Go Raiders (double ick). Not being able to "control your own destiny," sucks. But, that's what happens when you lose to the Browns......

Keep the Faith!

Picture, videos, and blogs to follow - post Vegas. Did I mention I will be attending the World Series Of Beer Pong? Boom. Stay Tuned.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T13:00:00.000-05:00

Hope you and yours have a super, awesome, and most excellent holiday season!

Now go pretend you like that sweater.....

Go Steelers.

GENO!

2009-12-24T10:09:00.004-05:00

Christmas came early for us Pens fans, last night (that was a very un-original opening sentence. Please note that I have acknowledge this).

The Penguins Power Play, and Evgeni Malkin erupted in an 8-2 win, over the hated Ottawa Senators [Box Score].

Geno went off, recording the fourth "Hat Trick" of his career and leading the Pens resurgence on the power play.

They tend to celebrate Christmas a bit different in Russia with numerous fictional characters, like this guy, but I have a feeling Geno and the boys will be sipping on some Egg Nog this evening.

Remember, they now how to party.

There is really no thesis to this post or any content worth telling your friends about. Just a reminder that the Penguins are still the most dangerous team in the NHL when both Geno and Sid are healthy. Impossible to argue that.

Merry Christmas Eve!

I'll be back later today, spreading my Yule Tide all over your face.....

The Guido Take Over

2009-12-23T21:19:00.007-05:00

I've always said the key to life is laughing at yourself (read my memoirs).....

Thus, I am glad to see that the greasy-haired, Italian punch-lines, on The Jersey Shore, have started to laugh and embrace their goofy lifestyles.

They're everywhere. You can't go on the Internet or turn on late night TV, without seeing the cast of the greatest reality television show of all time.

(Yes. It has now claimed the prestigious title of "Greatest Reality TV Show." I mean, I would have never discovered the "fist pump," if it weren't for this program..... )

Anyways.......this made me laugh. If you're near a bottle of tequila - do a shot every time you hear "The Situation."

You'll be flexing your abs in no time....

The REAL Situation (Feat. MTV Jersey Shore's The Situation, Snooki, and Pauly D) - watch more funny videos

This Will Definitely Happen.....

2009-12-23T20:44:00.003-05:00

It was announced today that the Manny Pacquiao - Floyd Mayweather fight has been tentatively rendered as "cancelled."

There are many things certain in life -

1. Taxes
2. The Cleveland Browns playing under .500 football.
3. Nacho cheese can be substituted for any other condiment.
-and-
4. Money will end all arguments.

With these rules of society in place (yeah they're mine - so what?) I have no doubt in my mind that the Pac Man - Money May fight will definitely happen.

No, not because Mayweather is a huge fan of nacho cheese........but because the amount of money both fighters will make will settle any argument about test's, etc.

Am I wrong? Is the biggest fight of our generation in jeopardy because one of the fighters is a afraid that a blood test will ruin his training regiment?

I say, nay.

Just a little reminder so yinz don't get your panies in a bunch. This will fight will happen. All is right in the world......

ps: Radio silence is over - I got all my Christmas shopping done. Decade "stuff," coming tomorrow and throughout the final weeks of '09.

Look Familiar?

2009-12-20T21:40:00.004-05:00

Wow.

503 passing yards....

A Game winning catch with 0.0 seconds remaining.....

Playoff hopes still alive.....

An onside kick with the lead.....(????)

A non reliable Steelers defense....(really, they're brutal)

A one point win, scoring 37 points, against the second best defense in the league....

5 game losing streak, snapped......

The NFL is so unpredictable.

(Example #2 - JaMarcus Russell won a football game.....)

At least for now, we can still dream of playing in the Playoffs. Thanks to Big Ben, the guy who holds on to the ball too long.....

Yeah. He should stop that....

More tomorrow. Join the party over at OFTOT, now.

Christmas came early, GO Steelers!

......Of The Decade

2009-12-19T10:31:00.004-05:00

Since most of the content on this here blog has been un-original and inspired by other blog scribes, I will be conforming to the blogging guidelines of America and compiling my "Best __ Of The Decade" lists, throughout the next seven to ten days (?).

Don't expect it to be your normal "Best Movies" or "Best Songs" (I listen to Steely Dan and quote Wayne's World). I will be providing you with different categories and different opinions from the year of the "auts."

Expect to be jabbed in the face with greatness.

Saturday Happy Hour (yesterday was a busy day in Bristol, get off me) and McCarty's Picks are on the way. Hold on to your horses....

Because I Know You Did Not See This....

2009-12-15T13:44:00.011-05:00

I am going to safely assume that around .000067% of my readers watch Memphis Grizzlies basketball games. Therefore, I proudly present to you former Pitt Panther, Sam Young, doing his best Dominque Wilkins impression last night.........

"Sam Young - making Memphis Grizzlie basketball watchable, since 2009."

Let's Go PITT!!

They're All Gone....

2009-12-14T11:28:00.004-05:00

The above picture was snapped less than a year ago and as of yesterday...... ALL of these strapping young men are FORMER members of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Yesterday, our beloved, battling Buccos (alliteration rules) decided to release their chubby closer, Matt Capps [PG].

While this story can be filed under the "who really cares" subject in your Traperkeeper, Capps would have demanded more cash than his shaky ERA and blown save record would warrant.

Capps, 26, made $2.425 million this past season, one in which his numbers dipped to career lows: 4-8, 5.80 ERA and 27 saves in 32 opportunities. In talks with the Pirates, it is believed that he and agent Paul Kinzer told the team they were intent on submitting an arbitration figure in the range of $3.4 million. The Pirates offered a much smaller raise. The sides never came close.

See.

The Pirates bullpen now has the experience of my Third grade tee-ball team but, I have no problem with this move.

I have gone on record as to say, I will give the Huntington - Coonley escapades and dealings, three years before I start to criticize them. So hopefully, this falls under their master plan. Time is ticking, homeboy's.....

And really, do the Pirates need a "closer???"

Keeping a closer on the Pittsburgh Pirates is like putting a treadmill in Casey Hampton's basement. They're a waste of money and won't be used.

Later today - a Matt Capps career retrospective, including a poem by Prince Fielder....

The Picks!

2009-12-11T17:29:00.002-05:00

Video has no relevance to this week's picks.

McCarty just mentioned it in a Fantasy Football email so I found it to be fitting considering he is in the playoffs, and I am not.

Make sense? Whatever, let's make some cash.....

The Picks!
By Matthew Theodore McCarty
Okay this is the week we turn it around for good. Plop these down so you can get a little bankroll for Bowl Season.

Steve-is-Alive Record: 13 - 7 for +17 units
Overall Record: 29 – 20 for +55.5 units

No need to fret folks. The 3 team tease is back! And with it, hopefully some picks that hit.
NCAA 3 team 10 point tease

Army @ Navy (-4)
Appalachian State (+14) @ Montana
Grand Valley State (+13.5) @ NW Missouri State

ARMY/NAVY
We all know the storied rivalry between Army and Navy. This all started long before football, when the two would fight over the hottest chicks to bring to their respective military balls. In fact, there has even been some trash talking leading up to this game, with players from Army guaranteeing victory.

But as we all know, if all trash talk was backed up the Ravens would have won every Super Bowl since Ray Lewis stepped into a purple jersey. Don’t get me wrong, Army is much improved. If they were to beat Navy, they would have six wins and go to their first bowl game since 1996. 6 wins = bowl game is what we call the “Notre Dame Equation”.

But this is really not the year for them to beat Navy. Ricky Dobbs provides the passing threat that Navy had usually lacked in recent years. They still don’t throw a lot, but he is averaging 10 yards/pass. That keeps the chains moving when you need them to. Dobbs also only needs 68 yards to rush for 1,000 yards this season. On average, they rush for 280 yards/game.
Army on the other hand averages 100 yards less of offense per game. They are improved and getting better every week, but this week is not going to be the turning point. Navy at -4 is safe.

APP ST/MONTANA
Moving on to game #2 we see Appalachian State facing off against Montana in a subdivision semifinal game (playoffs!). There are two very interesting things about this game that might surprise you:
(1) It had to be rescheduled so Appalachian State’s players could finish their finals (imagine doing that at Miami U )
(2) ESPN has to bring their own LIGHTS so the teams can play. Amazing.
Appalachian State is probably best known for being the team that smacked around Michigan a couple years back in the first game of the season. Montana is probably best known for being the name sake of everyone’s favorite child cartoon millionaire, Montana Max! Seriously people, watch this game. Appalachian State has got great team speed and provide a one two punch of QB Armanti Edwards and RB Devon Moore.

Montana can score also, but Appalachian State will be able to keep pace and keep it close. Appalachian State (+14) is the second part of this 3 team teaser.

GVS/NWMS
This is a good article on the D-2 Championship [http://www.mlive.com/lakers/index.ssf/2009/12/division_ii_title_game_foes_gr.html]

Prediction: Grand Valley State loses but stays within 10.

Put these three plays together for 2 units.

NFL 3 team 10 point tease
Bengals (+17) @ Vikings
Saints (-0.5) @ Falcons
Lions (+24) @ Ravens

Uh oh, looks like I am missing happy hour. You guys watch the NFL. Plop this 3 team teaser down for 5 units.

Have a good weekend, creatons.

Friday Happy Hour

2009-12-11T16:58:00.003-05:00

Friday Happy Hour - curing any post mortem pains from the loss to the Cleveland Browns.

You are all cordially invited to a Christmas party in Connecticut tonight. Last minute invite aside, the door will be open....

FYI - I will be pumping an IV of Jack Daniels into my forearm, to forget the last month of professional sports.

(not really, Mom)

Also, if you want to puke on your Steak, check out the Browns - Steelers recap over at OFTOT.

It's Friday......go hug a puppy!

Enjoy the weekend......

Welp....

2009-12-11T09:25:00.007-05:00

Yeah, that wasn't a nightmare. That JUST happened.

I'll provide you with a "rant" later today but, for now, I am going to puke on my jeans.

Go Steelers.

Yucky.

My NBA Squad

2009-12-10T08:35:00.001-05:00

I remembered one gargantuan rule about sports - never switch allegiances.

As tough as times may be (see: 2009 Steelers/Pirates all my life) a sports fan should never turn their back on their favorite sports franchises.

That should be the eleventh commandment.

So while I have recently decided to dive back into the NBA, I took some time to reminisce on the reasons why I like the sport of professional basketball. Translation: I watched a bunch of Micheal Jordan You Tube videos.

When was the last time somebody did, THAT?!?

Reliving the "Jordan Era" made me realize that I will forever be a fan of the Chicago Bulls.

Anyone who grew up in the 90's has a special place in their heart for Jordan and the Bulls. They were the best, it was hard NOT to love them. Plus, they were the media darlings of the basketball world. They were everywhere...

Watching Chicago Bulls basketball games was a staple of my childhood. Remember WGN? Not only did they replay Superman III on a daily basis, they provided national coverage of Chicago Bulls basketball. Everyone got WGN (ps: Bozo the Clown!?? Awwwwwesome. Kids these days are deprived). That's where I developed my fandom of the Bulls.

Scottie Pippen? Amazing. One of the best players I have ever seen play the game of professional basketball:

BJ Armstrong revolutionized the point guard position (some sarcasm, some truth).

Horace Grant made "Rec Specs" cool.

And, I patterned my game after Bill Cartwright.

It's safe to say, the Bulls had a pretty big impact on my love of sports....

Over the past two years, I think have documented my lack of enthusiasm of today's version of the NBA. So there is no need to get into that but, I think I have lightened up a bit. Minus the abundance of tattoos and lack of effort on the defensive end they NBA has some of the best talent in years, and is actually entertaining to watch.

Blah blah blah blah, Kobe, LeBron, Dwight Howard, blah blah, blah. We know why the NBA is enjoyable. I am just excited to watch the young ballers (yeah, I'm hip) on the Bulls.

Derrick Rose is one of the top five guards in the NBA.

Brad Miller is the biggest badass, white guy, in the league.

John Salmons goatee is better than ZZ Top's.

Taj Gibson may win Rookie of the Year (Brandon Jennings is the early favorite - TOO SOON!).

Kirk Hinrich is well.....Kirk Hinrich!?!?!

And....they're coach by Vinny Del Negro. How can you not support The Negro?

Not to mention, their team roster site is comparable to a full length major motion picture . [Bulls.com]

I don't think that I need to say this but - the Steelers, Penguins and Pirates take priority over everything else (even family, friends, and physical health). This will always remain to be true. Always.

But I am back into the NBA game........ LETS GO BULLS!!

(go Steelers)

(go Pens)

Keeping The Faith....

2009-12-09T13:50:00.005-05:00

Numerous people have asked me why I am so optimistic about the Steelers finishing the 2009 regular season on a positive note.

Following four consecutive losses (one to the Chiefs, one to the Raiders) I have continued to be boisterous and make it known, that I am not throwing in the proverbial towel......

Why?

Am I just stupid?

No, it's basically because I've seen it all happen before.

The Steelers, down on their luck, counted out by many (even their "die hards") with four games left.

See: The 2005 regular season (the picture above is me and my buddies during SB 40...ahhh memories).

The Steelers needed four straight victories to get into the playoffs, and that's exactly what happened. They rattled off consecutive wins against the Vikings, Bears, Browns, and Lions on their way to a dominate playoff performance and a Super Bowl 40 victory.

You know how when Zach would get into a serious pickle with Kelly and Slater on Saved By The Bell?!? Times were tough, Zach was in Beldings office and you thought the end was near for good ole 'Preppy." But then, within the last FOUR minutes (forced analogy) of the episode, Zac turned things around, came out on top, was still buddies with Slater, and was playing tonsil hockey with Kelly. All was right in the world and.....we've this scenario before, so we had faith the entire time, Zach would get back on track.

Follow?

Too much effort just to drop a Saved By The Bell reference?

You see what I mean.....

We saw the 2005 Steelers, in the dumpster, come back, and win the whole damn thing!

We have faith that it can happen again because, we've seen it happen before.

So cheers, to the final four games! Let's do the damn thing.....

Here We Go Steelers!

(ps: "Jersey Shore" now runs the world)

We're keeping the faith over at One For The Other Thumb, join the fun.

Here We Go, Steelers, Here We Go!

The Picks!

2009-12-04T19:12:00.005-05:00

Yo, sorry these are late. I just finalized a deal that is sending me to Las Vegas for New Years Eve.

Will you join my "wolfpack?"

McCarty returns from a small holiday hiatus to help you fill up that little piggy bank on your desk. Do work -

The Picks

Clearly I need to shake some of this bad mojo off. The handicapping Gods have punished me now twice in a row for taking weeks off, using ill-advised puns and showering daily.
After a rough showing, we are now 12-6 for +18 units on Steve-is-Alive and 28-19 for +56.5 units overall when combined with my other site. (Still hoping Wayne Allyn Root decides I am too much competition and buys me out)

Game #1
Cincinnati Bearcats (-2) @ Pitt Panthers

Kudos to anyone that can watch this game and stomach all of the dick riding that will surely ensue every time either coach is mentioned. If you want to do a drinking game, 1 shot every time the words Notre Dame, Charlie Weiss or Stache or mentioned. 2 shots anytime Dion Lewis runs for a first down and the commentators talk about (a) how he was not heavily recruited, (b) comment on his height or (c) make a stupid joke about not missing Shady McCoy.

First, let’s analyze defenses. They are not very good. The total is set at 58, and that is just too high to touch. In fact, I am done trusting Pitt to score. Until Bill Stull shows me he can throw a ball more than 15 yards accurately more than once a game, I can’t take them. Cincy can pass all day and that is where Pitt is weak. The game is sold out and I am guessing there will be at least 10,000 Bearcat faithful in attendance.
Sorry Panther fans, but the right play is Cincy (-2) for 3 units.

Game #2
Philadelphia Eagles (-5.5) @ Atlanta Falcons

Chris Redman? Really? Elvis Grbac wasn’t available. Sometimes a line can’t move enough. This is that time. Go with the Eagles at (-5.5) for 2 units.

****

"You're so money, you don't even know it....."

"With Our Powers Combined....."

2009-12-01T13:46:00.004-05:00

These two men can do no wrong.

In what looks to be the cheapest commercial created in the history of broadcast television, Max Talbot and Hines Ward upped their legendary status by putting on a performance straight out of the Keanu Reeves School of Acting.

Hahahaa. The world needs a buddy comedy featuring Max and Hines.

Big ups to The 96.1 Freak Show for the find.

Somebody ship me a box of this, pronto.

Monday Night Fullback: Week 12

2009-12-01T11:00:00.000-05:00

Iron Head Heyward - what a pioneer. Do you all remember his Dial soap commercial? "What's with this thingy!!" (I can't find this video anywhere, someone, help).

Anyways, the Saints are super good and 16-0 is a legitimate shot for this squad. Brees is making superstars out of guys likes Devery Henderson and Robert Meachem. That alone, should lock him in as the NFL MVP.

We've got five weeks left in this crazy season with multiple teams in each division having realistic playoff hopes.

Try not to throw your remote out your window, sit back, and enjoy the final five weeks of the regular season......

With that said (Curb), on with the rankings:

32. Cleveland Browns 1-10
We can't even laugh at this team anymore. Just gotta give them the old........(this).

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1-10
Captain Jack Sparrow, the Somalia Pirates and the Pittsburgh Pirates have all had better years than the Buccaneers of Tampa Bay. Are you going to arrrrrggggggggue that?

30. St Louis Rams 1-10
I'd rather dance the Macarena on the top of the Gateway Arch while having 1944 German army fighter planes attempt to shoot me down.....then watch this team play football.

29. Detroit Lions 2-9
Can we ppppppleeeeeeeeeeeease start a petition stating that no NFL fan wants to watch this team on the Thanksgiving holiday. There is absolutely nothing to be thankful for while watching this team.

28. Oakland Raiders 3-8
Bruce Gradkowski starts for the third time, for a third different team (Bucs, Browns, Raiders) against his hometown Pittsburgh Steelers, this Sunday. That's just a fact, no jokes on this one.

Well, come on.....any paragraph with the words "Oakland Raiders" is a joke. Boom boom pow.

27. Kansas City Chiefs 3-8
They beat the Steelers. They beat the Steelers. They beat the Steelers. They beat the Steelers. They beat the Steelers. They beat the Steelers. -- that was my punishment for flying to K.C and throwing trash on Matt Cassell's lawn. Piss.

26. Washington Redskins 3-8
Somwhere Mark Rypien and Art Monk are mourning these losses while flashing their Super Bowl rings. Boom, in yo face, Zorn!

25. Carolina Panthers 4-7
Seems like only yesterday the Panthers were the cream cheese of the NFL and sitting a top the NFC. Then "Bizzaro" Jake Delhomme happened.....

24. Chicago Bears 4-7
We all saw this lack of enthusiasm and energy when Cutler signed. A smile or at least a golf clap would be nice.....

23. Seattle Seahawks 4-7
Quick name me a Seahawks who isn't named Hassellbeck or Housmanzanasandanadazedndah. Give up? Yeah, me too.

22. Buffalo Bills 4-7
Hey, JP Losman is a champion. Are you re-thinking that move, Ralph? I think so....

21. Houston Texans 5-6
When will we all officially give up on this team? They just cant win......especially with all red uniforms.

20. NY Jets 5-6
Hey, it could be worse - they could be the Nets (0-18 for my non NBA fans).......

19. Miami Dolphins 5-6
And it starts........"DRAFT TEBOW!"

18. Tennessee Titans 5-6
Soooooo......yeaaaaaaa......um......Kerry Collins.....that um......0-6 start, WAS all your fault.

17. San Francisco 49ers 5-6
Real talk, this is a fun team to watch. Patrick Willis is the best (middle) linebacker in the NFL.

16. New York Giants 6-5
C'mon, Giants fans are just gearing up for the beginning of "Jersey Shore." Forget football....

15. Jacksonville Jaguars 6-5
In the playoff hunt with guys named Mike Sims-Walker and Marcedes Lewis. The NFL, it's faaaaaaaaantastic!

14. Atlanta Falcons 6-5
Chris Redman starts at QB this coming Sunday. They would be better off with Method Man. Get it......? Redman and Method Man? Da rockwilder? Ahhhh never mind.....

13. Baltimore Ravens 6-5
Nothing good will be said here. Enjoy this (one of the best SNL moments of all time).

12. Arizona Cardinals 7-4
After being beat by Vince Young, again..........Matt Leinart has to be curled up in the fetal position, in a dark room, huffing glue and drunk dialing Paris Hilton.

11. Denver Broncos 7-4
Remember when we all hated Brandon Marshall and called him a spaz? Yeah, he's one of the best in the league. No doubt.

10. Green Bay Packers 7-4
Well yeah, I could be 7-4 too, if I played the Lions and Bears twice......

9. Pittsburgh Steelers 6-5
It's a blog. Shut up. I am allowed to be bias. Here. we. go.

8. New England Patriots 7-4
Watching Bellicheat squirm in his snuggie while getting stomped on MNF was must see TV.

7. Philadelphia Eagles 7-4
Note to NFL Teams, don't play a "COVER 2" against the Eagles. Desean Jackson is too fast.

6. Dallas Cowboys 8-3
Heard a rumor that if Jason Garrett takes a Head Coaching gig, that Jerry Jones would look to go after Charlie Weis as a potential replacement at O.C. Wade Phillips and Charlie Weis on the same coaching staff?!?!? Old Texas Buffet will be out of business by the end of training camp.

5. San Diego Chargers 8-3
Being in first place in the AFC West is equivalent to being voted the best looking Baldwin brother......nobody really cares.

4. The Stupid Bengals 8-3
I don't like this.....

3. Minnesota Vikings 10-1
That acquisition of Sage Rosenfels has really paid off.....

2. Indianapolis Colts 11-0
If Jim Cadwell wasn't a robot, he'd win coach of the year.

1. New Orleans Saints 11-0
Sadly, the Drew Brees war chant does not translate to the workplace......I've tried. PS: They are already up 14-0 in Week 13.

*****
Steelers have the Raiders, Browns, Packers, Ravens, and Dolphins left on the schedule. Dear, Steeler Nation, keep the faith. Remember 2005!!!

Per usual, we are dominating the Internet over at OFTOT with all your Steeler info and toilet humor.

On to the next one.....

HERE WE GO STEELERS!!!!

Dumbest Sports Moment Of All Time

2009-12-01T09:56:00.002-05:00

Either Keith Ballard is the biggest baby in sports.....or.....Tomas Vokun slept with his sister.

Doesn't matter, either way, this is one of the biggest "oh crap, what have I done" moments in sports.

Here's a lesson for you kiddies, don't swing you stick and try to break it like a baby who didn't get candy at the grocery store. Be a man.

I'm guessing the Keith Ballard bobble head night is cancelled?!?

Happy Fat Kid Day

2009-11-26T10:21:00.005-05:00

Casey Hampton should be an inspiration to you all.

While your giving thanks, make sure you devour plate upon plate of whatever is in your line of sight, and make your favorite nose tackle proud.

Today is a day where gluttony is encouraged and sweatpants are considered proper attire! So in celebration of the fattest and laziest day on the planet earth, let's rank the Top Ten Greatest Fat Men.

10. Casey Hampton

Seen above, this sure fire hall of a famer (?) can still run faster than you despite weighing more than your Ford Taurus.

9. Jaba The Hut

He Could also be in the Top Ten of Greatest Characters of All Time. How do you dream this creature up?

8. John Goodman

7. Oliver Miller

The fact that this dude actually suited up for an NBA team gives me hope that I can still play Center for the Bulls.......

6. Matt Stairs

Dude clearly gave up on doing sit-ups. How can you not root for a guy who clearly admits he drinks during the season and trys to hit home run every time he steps to the plate!?!?!

5. John Belushi

I wish he were alive, when I was alive. Just so I could see more of this.......

4. This Guy

3. Eartquake and Typhoon: The Natural Disasters

They never got their shot at the big time in the WWF. One of the greater influences on my short lived backyard wrestling career. I hope you all know that is a joke.....

2. Charles Barkley

The Mound Round of Rebound use to eat Big Macs......on the treadmill. He IS a role model.

1. Chris Farley

Simply the best.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!!

Be thankful, damnit......

The Picks: MNF Edition

2009-11-23T12:15:00.003-05:00

Hellloooooooo, McFLY!!

Our prognosticator returns just in time to turn a boring Monday Night football matchup into a gamblers paradise. On with it....

THE PICKS

Before I start stringing off words of brilliance, I would like to apologize for the long layoff in The Picks. I have been neglecting my duties as the Head Handicapper in Charge (HHIC) due to prior obligations of bachelor parties, weddings, studying, working overtime and child support hearings.

Perhaps the worst part about this long layoff is that I left everyone with a sour taste in their mouth after recommending perhaps the worst pick of the year, Penn State COVERING against Ohio State. Not only did they not cover, but they did not win. Not only did they not win, but they barely showed up for the game. The only saving grace of that game for me was that I did not watch any of it. Instead I was about 20 Jack and cokes deep at a wedding reception, doing The Stanky Leg to a Huey Lewis and the News song (editors note: that might be the best sentence ever typed on this blog).

Thankfully, the loss did not set us back too far. We are still 12-3 for +21 units on Steve-is-Alive and 28-16 for +59.5 units overall when combined with my picks on OddsmakerAdvantage.com.

Also due to a potential sale of my site, all of my picks between now and Bowl season will be exclusively on Steve-Is-Alive. On a somewhat related note, I am contractually obligated to mention Horatio Sanz in every edition of The Picks in that time frame.

Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texans (-4), O/U: 48.5
I had a journalism intern do a preview write up for this game but it was almost unreadable.

There were two references to “Clash of the Titans”, one reference to Zubiak seeking “Texas Justice” and no fewer than seven uses of the word “caveat."

So in replace of that I will give you this: This is the best the Texans have ever been in their short team history. This is the best the Titans have been all year.

The Texans have seemed to have been able to cure their case of fumblitis by limiting Steve Slaton’s carries per game. He has been splitting with Ryan Moats, who has scored 3 TDs while averaging 4.1 yards/carry. This has been crucial to improving the Texans red zone offense, which struggled earlier in the year. The loss of Owen Daniels hurts the offense, but Jacoby Jones has stepped up in his absence, using his large size to be a WR/TE hybrid.

It is hard to imagine, but since the Titans switched from Kerry “.183 BAC” Collins to Vince Young, they have actually done a better job of securing the ball and avoiding turnovers. A lot of this has to do with Chris Johnson absolutely beasting the opposition.

Some things have not changed, though. For one, the Titans defense is still very much the same defense that got embarrassed by the Patriots a month ago. They also on average give up 32 points per game on the road.

The Texans defense is somewhat unpredictable. They got run over by Jacksonville, Arizona killed them buy air, and Indianapolis got by with the air as well. The only thing consistent seems to be is that they can shut down half of the D and get burned by the other half.

We are going to roll the dice with three plays for this game! Keep your fingers crossed
Houston (-4) and Over (48.5) Parlay - 1 unit to win 2.5 units
Over (48.5) for 1 unit
Houston (-4) for 1 unit

*****

ps: Steelers lost to the Chiefs. Watch as the tears hit the page, over at OFTOT.

Friday Happy Hour

2009-11-20T16:17:00.004-05:00

After watching the Ducks (quack.....quack.....quack) highlight this morning, I thought this would be the funniest thing I would see all day.....

Then there was this (Score Goals like Tierry Henry).

And this...... (Yellow card for farting).

Bill Belichick started off what could have been one of the weirder sports weeks in recent history.

Troy hurt. Benson hurt. Micheal Turner hurt. LeBron hurt (but OK). Hogan hurt. Steve Smith getting into a fender bender last night. Marvel Albert fought 50 Cent (not a joke). The Knicks won a NBA game......

........ no sorry, that is a joke.

Back to the video......chill out, it's a stick. Neidermayer was just trying to be a swell dude and you guys go all "FREE T-SHIRT!!!!" over the kind gesture. Was the one girl throwing punches? Closed fist and all? What has become of sports fans?

I looked up the price of a Scott Neidermayer hockey stick on eBay, and an AUTOGRAPHED stick is priced at, 135.00 dollars. So take off the signature and that freebie stick is roughly estimated to be worth around 40 bucks.

Not exactly a Babe Ruth bat or an Ali boxing glove we are fighting over, is it?

Sports fans are weird.

With that said, check out the trash Cotter and I dished out on the Chiefs, over at OFTOT.

Here We Go Steelers!

I'll be around this weekend with minimal updates. You know this.

Go hang gliding, it's the weekend!

If You Think This Is Real....

2009-11-19T16:21:00.004-05:00

Come on guys, really?

These old men have been doing this same exact routine since Washington crossed the Delaware.

If you believe this story to be an actual, true, attack on the Hulkster.....then you also believe that -

1. Doink could perform at your sons birthday.

2. Bret, is a real hitman.

3. The Rockers were an actual band.

4. Razor Ramon was a Latino.

5. Chyna was a Woman.

Hogan and Flair, two WWF pioneers, greats of the sport. BUT, the fact that they are going on with this being "real," is embarrassing.......brotha.

Story, link

You can now go back to ignoring professional wrestling.

For the record: Nobody, and I mean, NOBODY was a greater wrestling entertainer than the Ultimate Warrior.

What?

2009-11-18T14:09:00.003-05:00

This just in, Jim Tracy has won NL Manager of the year......

Pirate fans everywhere can join me in a collective headbutt to our keyboards.

askdgfwjri23j5m2v5=e3firdbryhjhhjrwede;"letsgobucs"eiwo-jre848rhdsnawklssre

As if leading the Rockies to the playoffs wasn't enough, they had to go and give this man an award?

Three years too late, Jimmy boy. Congrats. I guess?

Monday Night Fullback: The Browns Are Bad

2009-11-17T09:53:00.005-05:00

Yeah yeah yeah, the Steelers had a god awful performance against the Bengals, but wow, the Browns really do bite the big one.

It's hard to put into words what is wrong with this team. Brady Quinn? The entire defense? A bundle of rookie wide receivers? A lazy head coach? What's the deal....?

Josh Cribbs is their best quarterback but, he is their number two wide receiver. Brutal, just brutal.

I wanted to make this a live blog of me monitoring my roommate Matt as he watched his beloved Cleve' Brownies. I couldn't do it. I couldn't make fun of my friend for that long. Instead, I just sat there an suffered with him through this one......

Except, I fell asleep at halftime. Things only got worse, I see.

In other news, Ray Lewis likes to eat grass (SportsCenter.com)

Let's get to the (late) rankings.

Party on, my football friends!!

32. Cleveland Browns
This.

31. Oakland Raiders
Has the Bruce Gradkowski era begin......for the sixth different team? Go, kid from Pittsburgh!

30. Detroit Lions
Man, I can't wait to watch them on Thanksgiving, again! Wahoo!

29. St Louis Rams
Steven Jackson is good football player. Trade him now, so we can actually watch him play. Those poor dreadlocks.

28. Washington Redskins
Three wins and they're ranked 28th? Yep.

27. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
I think it's agreed upon that the "orange push-pop" jerseys won your only game. Bring em back!

26. Kansas City Chiefs
The Steelers will need you to play like the Chiefs (don't try to do anything cute) this Sunday, ok? Thanks.

25. Buffalo Bills
Canada? Vegas? LA? You choose, Ralph.

24. Seattle Seahawks
We've come along way since the refs jipped you guys out of Super Bowl 40, huh? Ha. ha. haaaaa!

23. Tennessee Titans
Nothing is funnier then old men giving someone the middle finger. Nothing.

22. Chicago Bears
Good, Cutler deserves this. Cockiness and the facial expressions of Butthead, do not result in wins.

21. NY Jets
Looks like Mark Sanchez eats a hot dog, the Jets win. No stadium food for the QB, the Jets lose. Get that man a pack of Ballparks!

20. San Francisco 49ers
You can thank Jay Cutler for moving you to one game under .500.

19. Baltimore Ravens
You beat the Browns, here's a cookie.

18. Jacksonville Jaguars
This team is still more confusing than the ending to Watchmen.

17. Carolina Panthers
Woah, they're good again! Viva la Delhomme!!!!

16. Miami Dolphins
In the bar on Sunday, a man in an "AUTHENTIC" Pat White Dolphins jersey, obstructed my view of the TV, for a good portion of the Steelers game. I'm glad Ronnie Brown got hurt.

15. Houston Texans
DeMarco Ryans is a badass. Too bad, Matt Shaub is not.

14. Green Bay Packers
If I were on TV, I'd be telling you that Aaron Rodgers is a greek god. I would also use the word "moxy" somewhere within that rant....

13. Atlanta Falcons
Micheal Turners injury may make you throw your fantasy team into the river. Oh, and the Falcons real team may be in trouble as well.

12. New York Giants
Plaxico had 8 catches for 175 yards and 2 touchdowns as the Mean Machine beat "The Guards" in their annual match up. Cheeseburger Eddy - DNP

11. Philadelphia Eagles
Hopefully Westbrook can comeback from these concussions. Scary stuff (yeah, I kept this one serious, so what, wanna fight about it?)

10. San Diego Chargers
Still got my money on LT winning the comeback player of the year award. Like that award means something......

9. Denver Broncos.
THE BEST DEFENSE IN THE LEEEEEEAGUE...........got beat by the Redskins. Sorry McDaniels, no extra allowance this week.

8. Dallas Cowboys
Ahhh feel the weight of the Cowboys bandwagon getting a bit lighter after the loss to the Packers.

7. Arizona Cardinals
Reggie Wells is having a pro bowl year. Not a typo. I did not mean to type, Beanie. Go Golden Eagles!

6. New England Patriots
All I need to say - HA. HA. HA. Your sith lord has failed you.

5. Pittsburgh Steelers
Keep. the. faith.

4. Minnesota Vikings
Adrian Peterson fumbling is like Albert Pujols striking out, it happens, but it really won't matter in the long run. They're still better than everyone else.

3. Cincinnati Bengals
Ouch. My fingers. Ow. Ow. Ow. Did I really just type the Bengals to be the third best team in the league? I need a ride to the hospital. This hurts.

2. New Orleans Saints
A close game against the Rams is comparable to an "awful waffle."

1. Indianapolis Colts

Reggie Wayne and Peyton Manning are legends. We are watching players we'll be telling are kids about......all while we mention how the Steelers won more Super Bowls then they did.....

More to come today and remember to check out OFTOT for all your Steelers news and complaints about the offensive line.

It's going to be an interesting drive to the playoffs! Buckle up, nerds!

Saturday Night's Alright....

2009-11-15T09:32:00.006-05:00

The goal of today's post would be to write about how "epic" (as the kids would say) last night was in the sports world. Especially for this guy, and Pittsburgh sports fans everywhere.

Rarely do you have a night that you will remember for years, where you sat on your "bum bum" from 7:00pm till 1:00am, drinking Sam Adams Winter Lager, eating pizza, un-showered and smelly from the day before.....just watching sports.

That's what I did.

And lucky for me, my girlfriend Ashley graciously obliged and joined in on the laziness.

We witnessed the fall of an over-hyped, unproductive, empire - a game tying goal with .4 seconds remaining - annnnnnnd the best fight of the year.

I'd say overall, that's every woman's dream night.

side note - I tried not to read any twitter comments, text messages, facebook status updates, and newspapers (old journalists just shat their "depends" that I mentioned newspapers, last) so I could clear my head and form my own opinions.

Let's start with PITT......

From the start of the PITT - Notre Dame game, you knew PITT had it in the bag when you saw actual breathing humans in the seats at Heinz Field. It didn't look like a PITT game, it looked like a sold out Monday nighter for the Steelers. Impressive, for PITT fans.

Bill Stull, Dion Lewis, Jonathan Baldwin, and Doren Dickerson all brought their A game and you could tell early, the offense would flourish against a beat up and "not-so-good", Notre Dame secondary.

This brings us to the head coach of the Notre Dame football team.......

I never really understood the obsession with Yokozuna Charlie Weis and his job as the Notre Dame football coach.......until last night. Watching him squirm up and down the sidelines sweating McChicken sandwiches made me realize why this dude has to go. Too much pressure, it's not healthy.

Other than the deflating the Notre Dame empire, and season, PITT made a statement that they belong in the top ten.

Matchups with WVU and Cincinnati the next two weeks will keep us all on the PITT bandwagon until Bowl season!

On to the Pens......

What can you say about Bill Guerin that hasn't already been said about Abraham Lincoln.

Our old man, savior!

What a game! The Pens and Bruins exchanged goals back and forth all night long.

You saw the game. You saw the 5-on-3 that turned into a Bruins lead. You saw your remote fly through your living room as time ticked down and the play was more frustrating than attempting Algebra.

Something was in the air, in the Burgh last night. It may have been the body odor of one, Mr Weis....... or it could have been that lingering aura of championship trophies from the past year.

ps: Welcome back, Malkin (3 assists)

This glorious finish was the perfect lead into the Manny Pacquiao - Miguel Cotto bout.

You all clearly know my obsession for the sport of Boxing. I am even considering taking boxing lessons at a real, big boy gymnasium. How funny would that be?

Anyways, this fight did not disappoint. HBO will re-air the fight for free next Saturday and probably sometime this weekend. I recommend you cancel all previous engagements and watch the best fight of the year......maybe of our lifetime (27 and under).

I was all for Miguel Cotto in this fight. He has become one of my favorite fighters to watch well....fight, ever since he lost (controversially) to Antonio Margarito. He came out swinging and did not disappoint. But......so did Pac-Man.

Both fighters stood toe to toe for the first four rounds, no dancing, jabbing away, abusing each others faces and bodies. Pacquiao's rapid punches and quickness eventually beat down Cotto and left his face looking like a candy cane.

To Cotto's credit, he never wanted to stop the fight - he wanted to give us a show. Eventually he was stumbling around the ring like the bad flu shot girl (not funny, scary) and the ref stopped the fight in the twelfth. A courageous effort, to say the least. I'm still a fan.....

On the other hand, Manny Pacquiao has reached legendary status.

He's won four different belts in four different weight classes. For me, he has surpassed Mike Tyson as the greatest fighter of our generation. And, you can't hate him. Seems like a good dude. Sports history my friends........stay tuned to the Pac-Man.

Obviously the next step is for Pacquiao to face Floyd Mayweather.

I would empty my piggy bank for a trip to Las Vegas and a ticket to that fight. I'll go "full homeless" afterwards, I'm not afraid. It will be worth it....

Quickly, my opinion - People are saying that Floyd will duck Pacquiao and take an easier fight. I say, no way. Mayweather likes money more than anything and a fight with Manny Pacquiao could be the biggest purse Mayweather has ever seen. Too much for him to pass up. Secondly, a win against Manny would cement Mayweather as the greatest fighter of our generation....until he fights Manny, he won't hold that title.

OK, so.....that was a lot. Sorry, I had a really good night of sports entertainment and I wanted to share. You can all go back to you reguarly scheduled programming.....

All of this happened....and we still have a Steelers game to get to.

It's game time.

HERE WE GO STEELERS!!

Biggest game of the year. AFC North on the line in Week 10.......

Go Sports!

Friday Happy Hour

2009-11-13T16:13:00.003-05:00

I haven't really touched on the outcome of the World Series since the Yankees ended things in six. It was a pretty damn good series dominated by Cliff Lee, Chase Utley, Yankees pitchers, and a Chinese man they called Godzilla.

The reason why I haven't blabbed or ranted about the Yankees World Series title is because everyone is saying the exact same thing. Except for Bill Burr.

Bill's message below, sums up what everyone is thinking in a polite and sophisticated way....

This what we're all trying to say. We are just not as freaking funny as Bill Burr is.

Now I have given Bill Burr the royal treatment here on this blog for the past two years. I am a huge fan of his comedy and never ever miss one of his glorious Monday Morning Podcasts. Never mind the fact that he is a douchey New England Patriots fan, the dude is the funniest man in the stand-up comedy business, today.

Please, listen to his podcast and check him out in a city near you.

This is not a feeble attempt for me to suck on Bill's teet and make you all think that I am some sort of stand-up comedy guru. I am just trying to help you fools past the time laughing, instead of watching America's Next Top Model.

Bill Burr Monday Morning Podcast

6-2

2009-11-11T15:46:00.005-05:00

I haven't been around lately due to the fact I have been running laps in the neighborhood, dressed like this guy (THE OFFICIAL MASCOT OF Steve-Is-Alive).

Anyways, the Steelers are 6-2 and life is good. Everything you need to know about the Steelers can be found over at One For The Other Thumb. Cotter and I have spent numerous hours typing up novel after novel about the Steelers, and their opponents.

If you're just jumping back on the bandwagon, that's where you should head for all your info.

You'll sound like Beano Cook in no time.

This video has been passed around the Internets more than crotch shots of Britney Spears, but check out the feature on the Steelers and Renegade. Thanks to my good buddy Shoaf for sending it to me last week and my apologies for being lazy and just posting it now -

A bevy of things to come including the following - The Picks, a Happy Hour, Pens stuff, Pitt -ND, Cotto - Pacquiao preview, podcasts, Sons of Anarchy rant, and the guy every male under 30 will now be officially jealous of.

Go Steelers, Pens, and P-I-T-T PITT PITT PITT!!!

2012 tonight. This movie may be funnier than the Hangover.

The Picks: Request Edition

2009-11-06T14:11:00.003-05:00

If the Million Dollar belt ever returns to the WWE, somebody please notify me, so I can get back in the WWE game.

Money money money money MONEY! WOOOOO!

Let's get to the reason why we are here.....

Here is a copy of the email I received from McCarty, attached with this week's picks :

ive been swamped at work and i got rehearsal diinner tonite so i had to write this while on the can on my smartphone. please check for format and spellin errors k thx bye

Just so you know what to expect.

Without further ado........your pooping prognosticator -

THE PICKS WEEK # 9
Last week’s results: 1 win for 2 units and one push.

Season results: 12-2 for +23 units on Steve Is Live. 28-15 for +61.5 units on the year overall.

This week “The Picks” will only have one play this week. This is due to previously scheduled engagements taking up my time, energy and brilliance away. With that said, I am only concentrating on one game.

I may have a NFL pick on Oddsmakeradvantage this week. No promises from my end. And now, a game coming by request (Troyer?)….

Ohio State @ Penn State
Penn State has grown to 5 point favorites after opening up at (-3.5). This is pretty surprising considering the public has been pretty steady on each side, with the public only favoring PSU 55/45.

Movement like this is not done to even out the sides but to adjust for one of three things:
(1) weather
(2) injury report
(3) oopsies

We will disregard the third option because you cannot rely on Vegas to fail. Doing so would be to disregard anything else and just assume they screwed up. Some things to consider are that the Buckeyes have three running backs that are currently nursing injuries. This bug has hit them all year, resulting in Terrell Pryor being their lead rusher at 555 yards. Kevin Newsome has been running the scout team offense all week in preparation and the Nittany Lions pose the biggest test to Ohio State’s offense since they faced USC earlier this year.

Weather should not be a factor in capping this game, as it will be temperate and dry for this time of the year. Both teams should be stingy with the run and you should expect both defenses to give up less than 90 yards on the ground.

If the thinking is that the big plays will be kept to a minimum, it would be reasonable to expect this game to stay under its current total of thirty-nine.

As of now, the play is a 6pt tease for PSU(+1) and the under (45) for 2 units. This is subject to change by game time so keep your eyes peeled on the comment box below.

*****

Reminder, if you want the "man on the can" to preview any special games for you or your loved ones, send a request to me, via email. Or call McCarty toll free at 1-800-I-Turn-Tricks.

Throwin' Punches

2009-11-03T11:07:00.007-05:00

(welter-weight Zac "Punchy" Kamnikar knocks out Greg "Too White" Simoff)

There is really nothing better than making fun of your best buddies. Am I right?

Well today , one of my best friends off all time, Zac Kamnikar, sent a Fantasy Football email that took a large number of shots at this blog.

Zac believes that the grammar in this blog is comparable to that of Clifford The Big Red Dog. Basically, I am blogging at a First Grade level.

So being the amazing human he is, Zac provided us with a list of guidelines for writing "Steve Is Alive"

Enjoy....

Tips/Guidelines for writing on My Blog
By. Steve Braband

1. One. Word. Sentences. Are. Awesome.
2. <, >, =, jokes show that you are also mathematically smart as well as sports smart.
3. When I can’t think of a joke (Insert _______ joke here) is always a good option.
4. Did you reference an Adam Sandler movie?
5. Include a self deprecating joke about how the blog is nonsensical and/or not very witty.
6. Reference obscure athlete from your childhood, i.e. Kurt Rambis, Rob Dibble.
7. Complete sentences are for losers.
8. Advertise Blog post on Twitter.

Despite roasting me like Jeffery Ross, it's all true, it really is.

And I laughed at it.....hard.

Thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, good buddy, Nathan Patterson, responds with these witty quirks -

Addendum:

9. Call things "FACTS", even if they are incontrovertably opinion-based.
10. Compare bad teams or players to a reality show, specifically the Hills, or something involving the Kardashians.

Example: The song "My Humps", while worse than an episode of Keeping up With the Kardashians, is still > Steve's blog. And that's a FACT. You remember that meestah meestah lady? Well I think I just killed her. Jerome Walton. Phillies rock. I'm eating Cheetos and the dog just licked my face.

See? That's a full blog post, right there.

Substitue Cheetos with Doritos and that IS a post from March '09.

And thennnnnnnnnnnnnn our resident handicapper chimes in with -

11. Sucker talented writer into writing articles every Friday for blog. Take credit when percentage wise and unit wise, the handicapping articles are beating the top capper at covers.com

I'm surrounded by assholes!

Just thought I'd share this adventure in "bashing on Steve-Is-Alive."

Are they right? If you followed those guidelines, could you write this blog?

Whatever....

Steve Braband > Zac Kamnikar, Nathan Patterson, and Matthew McCarty. FACT.

Keep firing, assholes.

Dear, Chase Utley.....

2009-11-02T22:33:00.004-05:00

What a super-star. Your watching baseball history, folks.

If you didn't watch - Utley homers twice, again, and the Phillies stay alive in the World Series.

Still.....

Andrew McCutchen > Chase Utley.

Let's Go Bucs!

Monday Night Fullback Week # 8

2009-11-02T21:19:00.004-05:00

As we speak, the Cleveland Browns are firing their General Manager.

Its "Black Monday" in the city of dawg pounds, and smelly lakes. Really, things couldn't get much worse for that team/city.

The Browns are falling apart.

Former Indians pitchers, Cliff Lee and CC Sabathia are dominating the World Series. Their pets heads are FALLING OFF!

Hey,

...at least they still have LeBron.........

Sorry. I'll take it easy on Cleveland tonight. They have suffered enough.

With that said.....on wit da damn thang....

Monday Night Fullback

32. Cleveland Browns 1-7
As the young kids would say - "LMAO." AHHHHHHHHHHHH HAHAAHAHHAA! THE. CLEVELAND. BROWNS. AHHHHH AHAHAHAHAA. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the worst team in the National Football League. Hahahahahaahhaa!

I said I'd take it easy.......

31. Tampa Bay Bucanneers 0-7
John Gruden? Derrick Brooks? John Lynch? Keyshawn Johnson? Errict Rhett? They're bad.

30. Detroit Lions 1-6
A loss to the Rams = you receiving the MNFFB logo this week. (Link)

29. St. Louis Rams 1-6
Please refrain from dumping Gatorade on your coach after he won one game. That's a little too much extra work for the laundry guy. It was one win.

28. Kansas City Chiefs 1-6
For the Chief fans -

I am usually not this nice when your team is worse than episodes of The Hills.

Okoye, what a monster.

27. Tennessee Titans 1-6
Everyone makes a big deal about Mark Sanchez eating a hot dog on the sidelines but, nobody says anything about the seven chalupas Lendale White devours during each half.

Chris Johnson is fast.

26. Oakland Raiders 2-6
Nipsey Russell would be a better option at Quarterback. How great of a reference is that for a young, fat, white kid from Western PA?!?!!

25. Washington Redskins 2-5
Hey Daniel Snyder, here's a sign that should be allowed in your stadium (link).

24. Seattle Seahawks 2-5
Who would have thought that T.J Houshmanzandandehandmandahdada would rather be a Bengal?

23. Buffalo Bills 3-5
Trent Edwards went to Stanford. Ryan Fitzpatrick went to Harvard. Terrell Owens is an asshat.

22. Carolina Panthers 3-4
Panthers marched into Arizona and revenged their Divisional playoff loss against the Cardinals. It's too bad Cardinals fans don't pay attention or understand the game of football.

21. NY Jets 4-4
J-E-T-S SUCK SUCK SUCK SUCK!

20. Jacksonville Jaguars 3-4
One big question mark. Tell me something about this team. Please.

?

19. San Francisco 49ers 3-4
The Alex Smith era is under way......again.....with the same results. Where art thou Jim Drunkenmiller?

18. Miami Dolphins 3-4
Chad Henne may be the quarterback ever to come out of Michigan. #IhateTomBrady

17. Arizona Cardinals 4-3
Leinart. Leinart. Leinart. Leinart. Leinart.

16. Chicago Bears 4-3
The Bears had a BYE this past week. What's that? They beat the Browns by 20? That's the same thing......

15. Green Bay Packers 4-3
I applauded Packers fans for booing Brett Favre. I boo Packers fans for eating so much damn cheese. Eat some veggies, damnit.

14. Baltimore Ravens 4-3
This.

13. San Diego Chargers 4-3
Dear Phillip Rivers, go play in traffic.

12. Houston Texans 5-3
Houston losing Owen Daniels for the year is like Luigi trying to beat King Koopa without Yoshi (weirdest analogy, yet). They aint making the playoffs.

11. New York Giants 5-3
Sign the IceBox. Really, if the girl who played IceBox wanted to play professional football....she would be a viable option for that injury riddled, god awful, defense.

10. Atlanta Falcons 4-2*
Matt Ryan is already penciled in to babysit my unborn children.

9. Dallas Cowboys 5-2
If peeing you pants is cool, consider me Miles Austin.

8. Cincinnati Bengals 5-2
Ochocinco was at my place of employment last week. I was more excited for the Pasta Bar.

They still wont make the playoffs.

7. New England Patriots 5-2
If the Yankees do in fact win the World Series, the Patriots will be removed from Super Bowl contention. The sports world only allows one douchebag filled team to win a championship, within a given year.

6. Denver Broncos 6-1
A week from tonight, the Broncos will be 6-2 and Josh McDaniels may finally lose his baby teeth.
5. Philadelphia Eagles 5-2
Desean Jackson was taken one spot ahead of Limas Sweed. Oh, what could have been......

4. Minnesota Vikings 7-1
I was pro-Brett Favre for awhile but, after Sunday, I want to push him into a muddy puddle.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers 5-2
That's right you little bastards, the Pittsburgh Steelers are the third best team in the National Football League. Argue that they are not. Go ahead. Try.

2. New Orleans Saints 6-0*
Drew Brees may be the best QB in the NFL, but he still has the state of Vermont on his face. I like him, I really do.

1. Indianapolis Colts 6-0
Colts are good. Mmmmmkay?

Have at it. I'm not an expert, kids.

I'd close this out with something witty but, I am feeling lazier than Gilbert Grape's mom.......

Go Steelers.

Friday Happy Hour

2009-10-30T17:21:00.006-04:00

The Halloween route would have been the easy way out. Instead, you get a well planned joke about masturbation.

I love the Internet.

What is your Halloween costume?

Hopefully, this.

Story time - One time when I was younger, former Steelers running back, Erric Pegram, lived in a near by neighborhood and was passing out autographed pictures of himself to trick-or-treaters. I find that both pompous and awesome!

Have fun this weekend and don't pass out pictures of yourself...........Butterfingers are clearly the better option.

The Picks: Week # 8

2009-10-30T09:57:00.004-04:00

Some may say "Two For The Money" will go down as Pacino's worst flick of all time, but I strongly disagree.

If you've never seen this epic cinematic production - Pacino played a conniving television celebrity, who makes weekly gambling "picks." McConaughey (who of course, has no shirt) plays the up-and-comer who eventually overshadows Pacino on his own TV program. A recipe for disaster and un-intentional comedy, to say the least.

I don't want to play spoiler, but Pacino goes all "Pacino" on McC and things get a bit dicey. Rent it, or you can borrow it from me. I believe I have a copy....

Anyway (holy shit, the above paragraph was pointless!)..........

Your sketchy, grease ball, bookie, has returned with his weekly dose of " The Picks."

Has anyone actually followed McMarty's advice and made some picks? If so, let us know.... we're intrigued by this.

THE PICKS
Are you guys ready to run with us yet? We are 11-2 for +21 units on the year. We are 27-13 for +59.5 when combined with my picks on OddsmakerAdvantage. I am not making any picks on OddsmakerAdvantage this week due to (1) I will be in Atlantic City by the time you read this and (2) I was only able to do enough research on a couple games. I take this seriously and would never recommend someone lay down something on a game I didn’t truly put the required work on.

If you are looking for additional picks to make, try http://fmybookie.com/. These guys have been awful since I started following them. Just fade them all day long!

And now......

Pick #1
The 3 team 10 point tease is moving to College ball this weekend
Cincinnati (-5) @ Syracuse
True the Bearcats are a little overrated and Syracuse is not as bad as everyone thinks, and the dome aint the easiest place to play in the world, but we are not asking for much. Just cover one score for us fellas!

NC State @ Florida State (pick em)
Let’s face it. Neither of these teams is very good. FSU has home field, the better QB, the more seasoned Coach and a lot is at stake. Public is pounding FSU and Vegas is reacting accordingly. We are trusting Vegas on this one.

Georgia @ Florida (-4.5)
This is tough because I love Joe Cox (no homo) and Florida has looked a little sloppy lately. But this is not the type of game the Gators lose. My prediction for this game? Florida 30-21. That’s why I am teasing!

I like this play for 2 units this week.

Pick #2
Houston @ Buffalo Over 41 pts
Okay, I know Buffalo has burned us before with their pitiful offense. We know Houston can score points and Ryan Fitzpatrick is actually throwing to Lee Evans while the ugliest man in football is getting back into mid season form. I am not saying this is an easy cover. Fumble mania gave me a push last time I bet on Houston to get the over. Not this time though. Be conservative this weekend, and go with the over for 1 unit.

*********

Suggestion - Watch sports and do not talk to family members this weekend.

It's Friday!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOO!

Make that money, meng....

Man Crush

2009-10-29T09:43:00.004-04:00

Sidney Crosby is the reason why you should be watching hockey. What a human being.

I'd love to take him out to dinner, buy him a steak and an expensive bottle of wine. It won't be weird Sid, I promise. Hit me up.

LET'S GO PENS!

Crosby nets the Hat Trick and the Pens beat the Habs, 6-1 {Pens Recap}

ps: The Pens are hotter than Brooklyn Decker right now. Can't stop the champs.

The World Series

2009-10-28T16:30:00.004-04:00

I am rooting for the Phillies, that is final.

The New York Yankees stand for everything that is wrong with sports and are the exact opposite of my favorite team, the Pittsburgh Pirates. That obviously goes with out saying....

Also, for reasonings explained on today's DVE morning show. The Phillies started an amazing "PA Cycle" last year.

Phillies won the World Series -> Steelers won the Super Bowl -> Pens won the Stanley cup.

I don't need any more reasons. Shut up Mets fans, I don't care about your rivalries with both.

Well, one more. The lady that currently enjoys my company is from Philly. I would like to keep her around.

Prediction: Philly in six.

HEY, PHIL(s)!

Let's Go Bucs.

Excited?

2009-10-27T13:49:00.004-04:00

Are yinz guys excited for tonight's NBA season opener?

I can picture all seven of my readers, tossing in their Jock Jams CD, throwing on some "short-shorts" and getting a fresh tattoo as they prepare them selves for the tip-off of the 2009-2010 NBA season.

That's what you'll be doing, no?!?

Anyways, I am thinking about getting back into the NBA game. I will always stick by my love for the NHL (ALWAYS), but I am considering following an NBA squad this year. What do you think?

The obvious choice of loyalty, would be to my Chicago Bulls. I have been a Bulls fan since I used to pee my Superman undies. I patented my "up and under" move after the stylings of Bill Cartwright. I once owned a Toni Kukoc t-shirt. I even have debated that Pippen was better than Jordan (completely false, I was boozed). Plus, DA Bulls have a young exciting squad and Derrick Rose and I have the same SAT score.

In addition, this picture is another legitimate reason. (Link)

I'm also leaning towards rooting for the San Antonio Spurs. Their plain, smash-mouth, and dominate style is intriguing to me.

No prevalent player that is dominated by a tattooed upper torso. I like.

They run the most boring offense in the NBA - and what could a slow, fat, white guy from Western PA like more than a team that "uses the backboard."

Also, my second favorite college player of all time (#1 = Vonteego Cummings), Dejuan Blair, was a steal for the Spurs in the second round of the draft, and should play a pivotal role. At least that's what "they" tell me....

Can't root for the Knicks because I've never seen a Spike Lee joint.

Can't root for the Bobcats because really, they don't exist.

Can't root for the Lakers because I'm not a douchebag.

Can't root for the Celtics because this guy does.

Can't root for the Thunder because they are still the Sonics to me.

Can't root for the Cavs because well, they are from Cleveland....ya know.

I could root for the Clippers, mainly because they are the NBA equivalent of the Pittsburgh Pirates.

You tell me..... I'm indifferent.

Let's Go Pens

For all you Basketball (mid 90's) fans -

Skee-Lo - I Wish Music Videos SPIKE.com

Monday Night Fullback: Week # 7

2009-10-26T16:25:00.003-04:00

I have typed this up three different times......and non of them have saved.

So no witty comment's (well, a few) - just my rankings.

I'll write more tomorrow. I am furious with blogspot right now and refuse to carry on.

If you want the theme to continue this week......I bet that lady above could play "fullback" for the Bucs right now.

We're reaching folks.

FACT: The NFL is awesome and should be year round.....

Monday Night Fullback: Week # 7
32. St. Louis Rams 0-7
31. Cleveland Browns 1-6
Hahahaahahahahahaahahhaahahaha, the Browns. Ahhhhhhh hahahahahaahahaha. Come on Cleveland! hahaha. Hey, how do Cleveland fans feel about Cliff Lee and CC Sabathia starting Game #1 of the World Series? Muuuuuuuhahahahaa.
30. Tampa Bay Bucs 0-7
29. Tennessee Titans 0-6
28. Oakland Raiders 2-5
Yep, things haven't changed - Link
27. Kansas City Chiefs 1-6
More Major League references - Link
26. Detroit Lions 1-5
25. Washington Redskins 2-4*
24. Miami Dolphins 2-4
23. Carolina Panthers 2-4
22. Buffalo Bills 3-4
21. Seattle Seahawks 2-4
20. Chicago Bears 3-3
19. Jacksonville Jaguars 3-3
18. San Diego Chargers 3-3
17. Baltimore Ravens 3-3
16. San Francisco 3-3
15. Houston Texans 4-3
14. NY Jets 4-3
Well now we know - if Mark Sanchez were a hot dog, he'd eat himself.
13. Atlanta Falcons 4-2
12. Philadelphia Eagles 3-2*
11. Dallas Cowboys 4-2
10. Arizona Cardinals 4-2
9. Green Bay Packers 4-2
8. Cincinnati Bengals 4-2
7. New York Giants 5-2
6. New England Patriots 5-2
5. Minnesota Vikings 5-1
4. Pittsburgh Steelers 5-2
Woohooo! BYE Week for the champs. They're all coming to Connecticut to hang out with Steve!
3. Denver Broncos 6-0
2. New Orleans Saints 6-0
1. Indianapolis Colts 6-0

Yep, very anti-climactic.

The Steelers won the biggest game of the year and that's all that really matters.

Despite my (blogspots) sub par performance, I love you guys.

Go Steelers.

Hi, Brett

2009-10-26T13:32:00.004-04:00

There is nothing I wanted more than to see #4, on the ground, staring at a Steeler defender rumbling in for six.

TWICE!

What a game. More to come with your lovable Monday Night Fullback, tonight.....

Full recap over at OFTOT

The Picks: Week 7

2009-10-23T16:41:00.002-04:00

McCarty's got this poster hanging up above his bed.

Who else would a degenerate gambler look up to?

Gotta keep this short, I am in Dallas for my cousins wedding. Whiskey time!

Take it over, Matthew......

The Picks
Welcome back welcome back. We are now 9-2 for +16 units on Steve is alive. Combine my records between here and Oddsmakeradvantage, and we have a whopping 22-11 record for +47.5 units. Are we do for a colossal collapse or have I found the secret to beating the books???? Probably neither but strap in dunnies cause here are The Picks ©.

3 team 10 point teaser #1
Indianapolis (-3) @ St Louis
New England (-4.5) @ Tampa Bay
San Diego (+5.5) @ Kansas City

Get used to rooting for the away team this week as both picks this week involve going with the road. A lot of “professional handicappers” would cringe when looking at this card because of all the road teams. But let me ask you this: If you were arguing with your girlfriend, would it matter if it was at your house or hers? The answer: No. It is still impossible to beat her at an argument, regardless of venue.

While the Colts, Pats and Chargers may act more rationally when you refuse to watch the Gilmore Girls, they will still come up on top next week and beat our teased spreads. Go with this one for 3 units.

3 team 10 point teaser #2
Green Bay (+3) @ Cleveland
New Orleans (+4) @ Miami
Philadelphia (+3) @ Washington

This is the same thinking as the last play. We have three superior teams on the road with pretty favorable spreads.

Dom Capers undoubtedly watched the Steelers/Cleveland game last week, and was probably able to detect how to shut down the Brownies with the 3-4. The Browns also have a dozen players sick with the flu, including 6 starters and Shaun Rogers. Not really worried about this one.

New Orleans looks like the real deal this year and Drew Brees continues to do whatever he wants on the field. The Saints have been above average against the run and Miami will not be able to beat this spread.

Philadelphia might worry some after last week’s debacle. I think just the opposite. McNabb hears Kolb on his doorstep, Westbrook got Shady on heels…these dudes are not going to drop back to back games against arguably two of the worst teams in the NFL.
The suggestion for this one is GB, NO and PHI for +2 units.

In addition, I would like to remind you guys that since these are both 3 team teases, feel free to mix and match to suit your own inclinations and views. You know, do what you do homey.
See ya next week. Let’s keep stackin!

They Say It's Your Birthday

2009-10-20T16:39:00.003-04:00

I turned 27 today. Ah booooooooooooooooo.

Old Balls Magee is not getting any casting calls to be in the next Hannah Montana movie. Damnit.

It really hits you when you are too old to be on the Real World. I am bit depressed today......I envisioned a future of myself battling Brad in a spelling challenge on The Gauntlet 8.

My birthday is the least important thing about today. Today is also the birthday of one Mr. Snoop Doggy Dog.

No introduction needed.

"Need to get a jobby job!!" Haha!

Here is one of my favorite Snoop moments of all time.

The Man Show was ahead of it's time. That show should have won multiple awards.

Anyways, if anyone knows Snoop personally let him know I said "Happy Birthday" and a Braband - Broadus Birthday Bonanza, needs to happen.

Have a 40oz in our honor.

Go Snoop!

Monday Night Fullback

2009-10-19T13:44:00.007-04:00

Google image search discovers some of the most useless items of all time.

I really hope Tom Ratham is the creator of this awful T-Shirt. It would legitimize the tee.......just a little.

Monday Night Fullback returns as you wet your pants in excitement.

I told ya, my BYE week is over. Let's do some work.

(If this is your first time viewing the glorious, Monday Night Fullback, these are my NFL power rankings. It sometimes can be a train wreck. Deal with it. This is why blogs are free.)

32. St Louis 0-5
Remember the greatest show on turf? What happened St. Louis? Is Nelly even rapping anymore?

31. Tampa Bay Bucs 0-6
Were you partial to Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat? This an argument that is as relevant as arguing about what is wrong with the Bucs.....

30. Cleveland Browns 1-5
Hahahaahahhaahaa. Oh Cleveland. Hahahaahahahaha. Oh,man. Lebron James is a New York Knick. Ahahahahaahahahaa. Cleveland, come on! ahhhhhh HA!

29. Tennessee Titans 0-5
0-8 since stepping on the Terrible Towel. For you haters out there, YES, this means something. Somewhere upstairs, Myron is smiling while sipping an Iron.

I'd like to believe they will have beer in Heaven.....

28. Detroit Lions 1-5
Suck.

27. Kansas City Chiefs 1-5
Just because I feel bad - next week the power ranking will be based on jersey style......and the Chiefs will be number one. No question about that.

26. Washington Redskins 2-4
Jim Zorn has been relieved of his play calling duties, I bet the Redskins still screw them up. Not your fault Jim, not your fault.

25. Oakland Raiders 2-4
Despite the win, I am still using this - {click the link}

24. Seattle Seahawks 2-4
The "greenman" costumes aren't working and with Lofa Tatupu out for the year - It Will Always Be Rainy In Seattle. See what I did there?

23. Carolina Panthers 2-3
2 wins in a row! That's called a "winning streak."

22. Buffalo Bills 2-4
Beating the Jets was like an early Super Bowl in Buffalo. No wait, never mind, that makes zero sense.....Buffalo loses Super Bowls.

21. Miami Dolphins 2-3
Chad Henne is the second coming of Chad Pennington. Is that good?

20. Jacksonville Jaguars 3-3
Sunday, they went into overtime against the Rams and came out victorious. And that counted in the standings????

19. Houston Texans 3-3
Owen Daniels chop block on Antwan Odom can down as the "The Bernard Pollard - Thank You For Hurting This Guy" award.

18. Chicago Bears 3-2
"Alex, I'll take - References That Are Getting Old for 500."

Answer - A Bears wide receiver who has a similar name as a Jackass star.

Question - Who is Johnny Knox?

17. San Diego Chargers 2-2*
Tonight, LT runs for 200 yards and 2 touchdowns. Not based on any football knowledge - I just need it for fantasy.

16. Dallas Cowboys 3-2
The Cowboys were the best team in the NFC East this week........because they did not play.

15. Baltimore Ravens 3-3
Houshka! Houshka! Houshka! Houshka is now my favorite NFL player.

14. Green Bay Packers 3-2
There is nothing to write about the Packers. Really, I've erased three different sentences. All were stupid.

13. NY Jets 3-2
Why? Why? Why oh why was the headline in the NY Daily News, NOT "Dirty Sanchez"

12. Arizona Cardinals 3-2
I still think Leinart needs more PT. But, just like the Steelers running the "wildcat" with Dennis Dixon......it aint happening.

11. San Francisco 49ers 3-2
I'll go ahead and say they are winning the NFC West. Mike Singletary is a super-hero.......who shows people his butt.

10. Cincinnati Bengals 4-2
OchoCinco bought up the remaining un-sold seats so the Bengals game would not be blacked out. Should I suggest changing the slogan to "Where Dey?"

9. Philadelphia Eagles 3-2
If Philly didn't have the Phillies yesterday, downtown Philadelphia would have looked like the movie Escape From LA. Production value and everything.....

8. New England Patriots 4-2
All I want to discuss is the snow. I live by that snow. If that snow is anywhere near my lawn or car this week - I am moving to Argentina to practice "extreme spelunking."

7. Pittsburgh Steelers 4-2
Boom. We're back baby! Heath Miller is slowly becoming the greatest person alive.

6. Atlanta Falcons 4-1
If Ben wasn't the Steelers QB, I'd want Matty Ryan at the helm. Kid is just cool.

5. NY Giants 5-1
They got Brees'd. Hard.

4. Denver Broncos 5-0*
Are they good? We'll find out tonight. On a totally un-related note, we're having a party at my house tonight. Oktoberfest themed. All are welcome. Bring lederhosen.

3. Minnesota Vikings 5-0
Welcome to Pittsburgh, Minnesota. Your loss record currently looks like John Goodman's belly, but after Sunday, it'll look like Ally McBeal's.....

2. New Orleans Saints 5-0
Hey, their offensive line is completing those passes. Drew Brees getting sacked is more likely to happen than a Bobby Hebert bobble head night.

1. Indianapolis Colts 5-0
How did we survive a week without Peyton Manning Steve Is Alive?

Fin'.

You like? I like!

Lastly - check out the recap of the Steelers victory over the Brownines at OFTOT [Recap]

It's my birthday tomorrow. Have a beer in celebration!

I'm virtually, buyin!

The Picks: MNF Edition

2009-10-19T13:34:00.002-04:00

OK so the Steve-Is-Alive BYE week is now over. Time to make the donuts.

With the first post following the BYE, I allow someone else to do the grunt work. Haha. That's my style.

Show me the money, Matthew!!!

The Picks…..finally

I apologize for the hiatus on the picks, but my esteemed colleague Steve was busy on Friday being a celebrity and sitting in Steinbrenner’s private box, eating caviar and sippin on Moet.
Hopefully, you checked out Oddsmakeradvantage on Friday in time for our 3-0 +5.5 unit pick package on the Pitt game. I felt so content after those picks that I decided to take the rest of the weekend off in preparation for Monday Night Football.

Tonight we have an AFC West matchup with the Broncos heading to San Diego to face Norv Turner and the Underachieving 22.*

Okay so what do we have before us?

We have an undefeated Broncos team led by Kyle “Neck Beard” Orton, Knowshon “Fumble Fingers” Moreno and a resurgent Brandon “Forgetting Sarah” Marshall. (All apologies for that last one. I couldn’t come up with anything witty and I am writing this up on my coffee break, so I just channeled Stuart Scott and ran with it). Oh yeah, and they also have the #1 defense right now.

For the Chargers, LT is finally healthy, Antonio Gates looks to be back in 2005 form and the defense looks like it would give up 500 yards to a Division I-AA team at this point. In the past week’s San Diego’s D has displayed sloppy tackling, lack of penetration (that’s what she didn’t say) and missed assignments in the secondary.

The line is currently at San Diego (-3.5). This is mostly due to the public perception that Denver is overrated and San Diego is better than their record. Josh McDaniels is more than familiar with the Chargers and the Pats took them to school last time he had the chance. After watching Rashard Mendenhall plow his way up and down the field against the Chargers, I would anticipate the Broncos will be dishing out a heavy dose of the run game. You may even see future steve is alive Monday Night Fullback Peyton Hillis carrying the rock a couple times.

San Diego is in the top half of the league in pass defense, but that is probably more reflective on the fact that team’s didn’t have to pass than any type of dominance on the field.

Barring extreme turnover’s Denver should be able to cover this game and keep it within a FG. They have a good defense that should keep the Chargers in the 21-24 point range.

The play for tonight is 1 unit at +3.5 on Denver …the last dinosaurrrr!

******

Stay tune kids, I may be traveling to Dallas later this week, but big things are on the horizon!

Go Steelers.

Sabatical

2009-10-17T10:25:00.002-04:00

Oh where art thou Steve-is-Alive?

That was dumb, I am sorry.

A whole week without a post? What the hell?

I have been on a sabbatical with this blog and it's not for any reason in particular. Lots of important grown up duties and obligations have secured most of my time at home (aka - I got addicted to Sons of Anarchy episodes).

Fear not, my 17 readers, the blog lives on. It feels like once every two months, I have to remind you of this....haha, my sincere apologies.

Anyways.......the switch to the .COM site is right around the corner and I am still ballin' with Cotter over at OFTOT.

Please help me. Stay with me. Don't ever let goooo...........

The Picks: Week # 5

2009-10-09T21:34:00.003-04:00

Show me the money, Matthew. Show me the money.

Everyone's trustworthy gambling expert, Matthew McCarty is back with his week 5 picks for your enjoyment.

I've got a decent amount of response on this section and if you would like to find out more picks from Matthew, email this guy. I will give you his cell phone number, home address, place of employment, and social security card number.

Really, the dude is that accessible.

Choose wisely......

McCarty's Stats:

Steve is alive 6-2 for +9 units
Combined with Oddsmakeradvantage 13-9 for +36 units
So we split last week (or lost juice depending on what your all about) due to the Bungles playing like a bag of fecal matter and beating the Browns by ONLY 3 points. Cracked a big NFL teaser on my site[link] to go 1-1 for +4. Now lets get it!

Game #1
Dallas @ Kansas City
So both teams had similar O/U totals last week (Dallas with 43.5, Kansas City with 43) and both failed to go over. This week’s O/U is set at 42. (42.5 on some books). So naturally, the under would be the right play, right?

Not so fast, champ. If betting totals was as easy as seeing what a team did the week before, your grandmother would give BINGO the middle finger and be screaming “Take the points you jaggoff” at the television every Sunday. Let’s look at this matchup further.

The Chiefs have given up 38, 13, 34 and 27 points this year. Dallas has scored 34, 31, 21 and 10. So I am not really worried about Dallas being able to hold their end of the bargain. We have seen the spread move from Dallas(-9) to (-7.5) on some books. I think that this plays well for the Over. If this game is close it is because the Chiefs will be able to generate some offense. If their defense gives up somewhere between their average and Dallas’ offensive average, they will not have to score much for the over to hit either.
The Chiefs will throw often enough to keep the game going long enough for this over to hit. Recommendation: 1 unit on the over at 42.

Game #2
3 team 10 point teaser
Minnesota (pick em)@St Louis
Dallas (+1) @ Chiefs
Pittsburgh (pick em) @ Detroit

Here we have 3 road team favorites that we teased down to the point that they just have to win. Chances are if you read this blog, you watch sports and you know how truly awful the Rams, Chiefs and Lions are. You probably also consider the Vikings, Steelers and Cowboys to in the very least, be in the top half of the NFL.

Minnesota is going to be able to run the ball all day on St. Louis. Minnesota running = Favre throwing less than 30 passes. Favre throwing less than 30 passes = Vikings win.

As we discussed before, the Chiefs blow. They might be able to give us a scare early, but Wade got his job on the line and I think this will be the game we look back on as “The Game Romo Got His Swagger Back.” Hopefully that will be the title of the free DVD when you purchase ESPN: The Magazine next year.

Did you see the Steelers last week? They looked good. They looked real good. A lot of that had to do with Rashard Mendenhall carrying the rock with success. He “unofficially” is starting this game against Detroit. The Lions have been able to score some points this year, but Sunday will face a good Steeler defense with either a limited Stafford under center or Daunte Culpepper. If the Steelers bust this tease for us, consider me shamed on both ends of the spectrum.
Recommendation: Vikings-Steeler-Cowboy 3 team 10 point tease for 5 units.

Bye. (Happy Braband??)

"Matt McCarty is a sports handicapper and the author of Oddsmakeradvantage.com"

Friday Happy Hour

2009-10-09T15:13:00.003-04:00

What an original premise.

It makes me really sad that movies like, Cop and a Half do not get green-lit anymore.

The only movies that get made are Matthew Mcconaughey movies in which he takes his shirt off, or Saw flicks.

On a side note, I'll be the only one in the theaters for SAW VI. Love that franchise.

Suggestion - Don't be a dick this weekend.

McCarty's picks to come.......lucky for his, he'll keep his shirt on.

Continue your support of One For The Other Thumb and check out our Lions preview - (OFTOT)

A Few Things

2009-10-07T10:44:00.003-04:00

Steve Is Alive has been on the fritz lately, as I have been trying to switch to a ".com" domain name.

To say I am "Internet Savy" would be like saying The Hills is a good TV show......it's just not true.

So please stay tuned as I try to make the adjustment. In the meantime, you should ponder these thoughts and ideas I have listed below.

1. All Pirates fans need to root for the Minnesota Twins in the MLB playoffs. The Twins are that mature older brother the Pirates should be looking up to. Did you see the Metrodome last night? That crazy, boisturous, fan-frenzy, could be PNC in a few years.

"Yeah and if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass when he hopped."

2. Continue to support Cotter and I over at One4TheOtherThumb.com . We are writing posts that would make Hemingway look like RL Stine.

3. The current seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasum and Always Sunny In Philadelphia have brought their A game, plus some. The economy sucks and the current weather conditions make the east coast look like the Degoba System. So stay inside, watch those television programs, and freaking LAUGH people.

4. This will keep you occupied for a while:

5. Just so you know I havent changed - Boxing > MMA and NHL > NBA.

6. Reminder for you bandwagon Steeler fans...........Never, and I mean NEVER, say "let's go Steelers." It's "Here We Go Steelers" or you move to Cleveland.

7. The Pirates season ended. They lost 99 games. One day.......

8. Brett Favre. Tim Tebow. Alex Rodriguez. Micheal Vick. Tom Brady. Brett Favre. Brett Favre. There, I think I've met my daily quota.

I'll be back tonight!

Steelers. Pens.

Friday Happy Hour

2009-10-02T16:03:00.002-04:00

One last time.....

The champs raise their third banner tonight. This makes me happy.

Feels like last week I was punching the floor and cursing Hossa.

The Pensblog would be a good place to be right now.......

LETS GO PENS!

The Picks: Week #4

2009-10-02T12:30:00.004-04:00

McCarty returns to help put some nickles in your piggy bank for Week # 4. As I said last week, McCarty was undefeated heading into Week 3, and yes like I said, that cursed him. Awesome job, Steve.

Let's try something new, shall we? For next week - email me the picks you want to see McCarty make or questions you have for the "Captain of the Spread" (I've seen a stripper with the same name).

Place your bets....

The Picks
So we took our first defeat in the 3rd week of “The Picks”. We were able to a nice win with a little 6 point teaser to take the sting away. That leaves us at 5-1 and +9 units on the year. My total record between Steve-is-alive and Oddsmakeradvantage is now 11-7 for +32.
We are switching it up and adding a NCAA game to this week’s picks. I just ordered a new Sports package for my cable so I decided to cap a game that I can watch this weekend. I understand most of you might have no interest in teams like Toledo, Wyoming or Northern Illinois. Well too bad, because now that I got this sports package, I will be damned if I do not get my money’s worth.

Game #1
NCAA Play
2 team 6 point teaser
Florida State @ Boston College (+11.5)
Michigan @ Michigan State (+8)

I would love to go into great detail about why this is such a great play. But instead of sharing my secrets of strategy, I will pretend like I am picking these teams based on grudges. Seriously, Dick-Rod and Bowden? Who doesn’t want to bet against them? Think of the double joy of you winning and them losing!!!!

Okay seriously, this is what we have: two home team, two score underdogs with the tease. BC and MSU could both easily lose, but both will be able to stay within a score. Plop this in for 2 units.

Game #2
NFL Play
Cincinnati Bengals (-4) @ Cleveland Browns
The Browns offense right now looks like a bottom three performer in the NFL. Tell me again why they traded Kellen Winslow? Is it because Braylon Edwards is so reliable? The coach might be Mangini but this offensive line looks like a buncha manginas, getting pancaked every down.
I am not saying the Bengals are great, because they are not, but they are certainly better than the Brownies. They can score points and their criminal element allows them to be able to create some takeaways on defense. Easy cover by the road team, netting us 2 units.

*********

McCarty does says "bye and have a nice weekend." Way to just end it, jerky.

It's the weekend! woooo!

Go Steelers.

Be back with more later.....

**UPDATE**

McCarty sends a revision as he messed up the previous lines. We keep it posted to point out his flaws.

HA- HA.

Here you go -

Many thanks to alerting me of some bonehead stale line jawns.

Game #1
NCAA Play
2 team 6 point teaser
Florida State @ Boston College (+10.5)
Michigan (+9.5) @ Michigan State

Lots of action on these games driving some lines round n round. We stick with BC and Flip the switch on the Mich/Mich St game. Of course now my rooting against Dick Rod ploy is gone. Instead, we will say this pick to pay homage to Doug Flutie and Steve Breaston. Stick with 2 units.

Game #2
NFL Play
Cincinnati Bengals (-5.5) @ Cleveland Browns
Easy cover by the road team. Easy cover usually means 1.5 don’t matter. 2 units.

All apologies for
(1) Not saying goodbye
(2) Acknowledging that Party in the USA is the #1 hit in America
(3) Effing up the lines.
I wanted to badly put a play in on the Tulsa/Rice game, but decided against due to contractual obligations. Sorry.

Monday Night Fullback

2009-09-28T20:05:00.007-04:00

Jon Witman, what a human. I'd start him in the backfield tomorrow.

Week 3 just ended and its a good thing we know that the Bengals will be playing the Broncos in the AFC Championship game. Book your plane tickets, it's going to be a doozy.

Sarcasm noted, yes?

Everyone needs to chill out crowning their favorite team, Super Bowl 44 champs. The season is young and we have plenty of time for teams to poop the bed.

Don't talk to me about the Steelers record until Week 9, OK? In the meantime, check the recap of Steelers - Bengals over on OFTOT, dominated by Cotter and I.

Let's dance with these un-original rankings based on teams records. Can you say - "contradiction blog??"

Ha. Go Steelers.

Week #3 Monday Night Fullback

32. St Louis Rams 0-3
Yo, Kyle Boller is their backup and will probably be under center the next few weeks. Ouch. I thought Kyle Boller was suspended for being a detriment to the league and his family.

31. Cleveland Browns 0-3
Hahahahahahahahaha........the Browns......ahhhhhh hahahahahahaa.

30. Tampa Bay Buccaners 0-3
Leftwich out. Josh Johnson in. That's like replacing a Ramen Noodles with Easy Mac.

29. Kansas City Chiefs 0-3
My dog could tell you the Chiefs are not a good football team. He reads the box scores.

28. Carolina Panthers 0-2*
You just intercepted Jake Delhomme.

27. Miami Dolphins 0-3
Sunday starts the beginning of the Chad Henne era. Or I mean.....the "We Should Draft Tebow" era.

26. Washington Redskins 1-2
Lost to the Lions = fail. Don't come here for bailout jokes.

25. Detroit Lions 1-2
They won! They won! The Lions won! The Lions won!

24. Oakland Raiders 1-2
Click this link.

23. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-2
Really couldn't tell you why this team is bad. No o-line? No defense? Torry Holt is number one wide-out? Ill go with last week's comment - no Natrone Means!

22. Tennessee Titans 0-3
Will we be seeing the return of Vince Young?? Looks like LenDale needs to get back on the patron. Fatty.....

21. Houston Texans 1-2
One week they look like a playoff team, the next week they lose to the Jaguars.........

20. Seattle Seahawks 1-2
The green Power Ranger, the 1988 Hartford Whalers, and Luigi all thought those jerseys were ugly.

19. Arizona Cardinals 1-2
PUT IN MATT LEINART!!!

18. Buffalo Bills 1-2
I was in favor of TO's comments after yesterdays game. Buffalo reporters are not very subtle - nice try.

17. Chicago Bears 2-1
Still believe Cutler will screw up their season somehow. Johnny Knox was better in Jackass 2 when he dressed up as the old guy and let his fake balls hang out of his shorts.

16. Dallas Cowboys 1-1*
Currently losing to the Panthers as I type this. Hope they do. Nice stadium, jagoffs.

15. Cincinnati Bengals 2-1
Not. Good.

14. Green Bay Packers 2-1
Packers got their buddy Fav-rah on Monday Night next week. Don't turn on a TV if you don't want to hear about it.

13. Atlanta Falcons 2-1
Falcons can't play outdoors. They looked out of their element in New England. Kind of like when I wear my Polamalu jersey in West Hartford......

12. San Diego Chargers 2-1
Up against our Steelers this week - not scared. Really though, LaDanian Tomlinson was an awesome fantasy pick.

11. San Francisco 49ers 2-1
Frank Gore could miss some time. Issac Bruce is their next offensive threat. Yikes......

10. Pittsburgh Steelers 1-2
Can't keep them out of the top ten. What did you expect. One tackle here, another tackle there and the Steelers would be numero uno in my rankings. Still wouldn't mean anything....

9. Denver Broncos 3-0
Mike Shannahan is doing a great job with......wait.....what.....he got fired?

8. New England Patriots 2-1
Tom Brady is yelling at receivers. Makes you wonder what kind of treatment Giselle is receiving......

7. Philadelphia Eagles 2-1
McNabb returns after the bye week. Andy Reid says "when does the McRib come back?"

6. Minnesota Vikings 3-0
Greg Lewis makes Brett Favre look like Brett Favre. Good for him.

5. New York Jets 3-0
Remember Alan Faneca? Dude is still playing at high level blocking for Sanchez and the upstart Jets.

4. Baltimore Ravens 3-0
Joe Flacco is throwing bombs and the combo over Rice & McGahee is legit. We'll still beat them in both match ups. Go Steelers.

3.New Orleans Saints 3-0
Drew Brees just scored with your sister. Hot damn, he is good.

2. New York Giants 3-0
On a serious note, good to see Osi Umenyiora on the field and playing at a high level. Great guy.

1. Indianapolis Colts 3-0
Best looking team in the NFL right now. Really, Pierre Garcon is quite the dresser.

The End.

Thinking about doing this Tuesday morning as the new Tuesdays With Steve. Better Idea? Or do you not care?

Have ever told you guys that I love you? Well, I do.

Finally......

On a happy Steelers note. Reader and college chum, Pat Chovan passes along this picture from a Steelers bar................in Aruba.

Nationwide homey.

That is really cool. We're everywhere!!!

Bring on the Chargers! HERE WE GO!

Here We Go

2009-09-27T10:30:00.003-04:00

Live bloggin over at OFTOT at 4:00pm.

HIT EM WIT DA DROP!

Go Steelers.

The Picks: Week # 3

2009-09-25T15:54:00.001-04:00

My man McCarty is undefeated with his Steve-Is-Alive Picks.

Welp, we just cursed that.

Good luck this week........

The Picks: Week # 3

Welcome to the third installment what has thus far resembled the results of short selling Enron on insider information while receiving a military pension in your 50s as you kick your feet up at a union-backed desk job while the rest of the company looks at you in twisted envy. Seriously, 4-0 on Steve-is-alive, 10-4 including my site and a whopping +36 units that have given us quite the cushion to work with this season. [insert more gratuitous nut flexing here]

So one of the great things about having OnDemand, is that I can watch the replays of all the NFL games from the past week. One of the not so great things about OnDemand is that while you are writing handicapping articles and it is still on the OnDemand channel, it is a running loop of commercials which features Elmo learning to salsa dance. I couldn’t find a link of the actual advertisement, but God bless your heart if you can get through this video that supposedly shows Elmo feeling the beat. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OM75zNsfoIs

Now the PICKS!!!!

Note: Washington State @ USC has a line of (-45) right now! I know Pete Carroll smells blood after a bad loss but good heavens that is a lot of points!

Game #1
New Orleans @ Buffalo
I keep watching the Saints past two games and can’t get past how Drew Brees just does whatever he wants. It is actually kind of sickening the dude is completely nasty. The Saints got a busted up backfield, but it is not as if Pierre Thomas and Mike Bell are irreplaceable. Reggie Bush will stay in his regular role, Pierre Thomas will get some touches and probably get spelled by Lynell Hamilton. Lance Moore is also out, but it doesn’t seem to matter much what Brees’ options are. Devery Henderson, Marques Colston and Jeremy Shockey are more than enough targets to keep the Bills defense on their heels.

The Bills offense is also pretty decent as well. Trent Edwards looks like he is getting more comfortable every week. It never hurts to have TO and Lee Evans as your 1st and 2nd options either. I don’t expect 150+ yards from Fred Jackson this week, as the Saints tend to rack the points up quick and force the pass. They also have done a pretty good job of stopping the run the past two weeks.

The Bills defense is decent, but it is hard for me to think that they will be able to hold this offense under 5 scores. If the Saints avoid redzone turnovers this will be another excellent offensive showing.

Both the Bills and the Saints are 2-0 on the over this year. Right now the over/under is set at 51. My play is the over for 2 units.

According the weather.com, there is a 40% chance of precipitation in Buffalo during the game. Keep an eye on this near game time. I hate betting the over when it is going to be a rainy mess. If it seems pretty likely to downpour for much of the game, I would suggest laying off this game. Otherwise, ride this for 2 units and we’ll keep riding the Saints until they prove us wrong.

Game #2
2 game 6 point teaser
Green Bay @ St. Louis and New York Giants @ Tampa Bay
I am suggesting a tease on these game to make these both a pick em! Green Bay has some serious problems with their offensive line, but St Louis is not exactly striking fear into any O-lines. I like them to bounce back from a loss to a Bengals team that as we know from the past, is capable of beating anyone, just not able to keep it together for a whole season. All we are asking for is a win, don’t let us down Packers.

It is tough to go with two teams on the road to lose, but I think the Giants D is going to cause havoc down in Tampa this weekend. I don’t think Tampa is as bad as some experts are portraying them as, but this is not the week they pull it together.

Remember, with the tease all we need is a win from the Giants and Packers. Put it in for 1 unit and watch your units stack!

See ya next week!

Yeah, It's A Sport

2009-09-22T12:40:00.004-04:00

Yes, the "World Series of Beer Pong" is an actual event. And actually, a few years ago, two gentlemen who I atteneded Seneca Valley High School with, won the event.

I find this to be a genuis idea. Hey if people watch people play Poker, why wouldn't they watch people play Beer Pong?!?

You know some late Thursday night during your collegiate career you stopped hitting on the girl who didn't like you and started yelling "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" when kids in trucker hats, sank ping pong balls into red cups of Burger Beer. And it was fun!

Everyone our age has played Beer Pong. Hell, some older dudes enjoy it as well.

The entrepreneurs of this event are young dudes my age, all of whom (one is a buddy of a buddy who is kind of my buddy {we've gotten very drunk together} - a Jewish chap named Skinny) are graduates of Carnegie Mellon University. When the event gets closer, I'd like to do more of an in-depth/behind the scenes feature on the World Series of Beer Pong, so we got some connections. Get excited.

The tourney is not just a bunch of frat dudes chugging beer and dressing up like idiots for fun. There is a hefty purse of $50,000 for the winner and hundreds of teams sign up to compete, from all over the US. I'd sign up but I can never hit the last cup.

I'd say I am the Andy Roddick of Beer Pong.

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh! TWO IN A ROW! SNAP B! BRING EM BACK!!!!"

Check out - Bpong.com

Monday Night Fullback

2009-09-21T20:51:00.008-04:00

Hey kids, hide your boners, Monday Night Fullback is BACK!

For those of you who were not with us last year, this is another sub par feature of mine that I think I quit writing around Week 7. D+ in the effort category.

Last season, MNFullback was me just spewing a bunch of football nonsense into a large, unorganized pile of rubbish. This year is different. This year we become men.This year.....we allllll get laid. Sorry.

No for real. Instead of bothering you with my terrible puns and awfully timed jokes about "Playmakers" , I am going to write a small blurb about each NFL team. Each and every Monday Night. They will be numbered 32 to 1, in order of importance. 32 being the worst. Kind of like a power rankings system. Neat and original, huh?

I can hear you jumping through your living room window with excitement.

Ready?

Monday Night Fullback: Week #1

#32 St. Louis Rams 0-2
They certainly do suck. Have you seen them score? I haven't.

#31 Detroit Lions 0-2
Matthew Stafford to Calvin Johnson could be something special. Poor Larry Foote.

#30 Tampa Bay Bucs 0-2
I'll say it right now, Jon Gruden should still be the coach in Tampa Bay.

#29 Cleveland Browns 0-2
Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Brady Quinn, come on........hahahaha.

#28 Kansas City Chiefs 0-2
"That's great, but who da CHEFS?" Oh man, classic. Larry Johnson still playing?

#27 Carolina Panthers 0-2
Del-homey? More like.....I throw a bunch of interceptions-homey.

#26 Jacksonville Jaguars 0-2
No Fred Taylor. No Mark Brunnell. No Keenan McCardell. No Natrone Means. No Wins.

#25 Miami Dolphins 0-1*
As I type this, they are currently tied with the Colts. Something about the Wildcat........

#24 Tennessee Titans 0-2
LenDale White ate the city of Knoxville for lunch. Chattanooga is for dinner.

#23 Cincy Bungles 1-1
Got the Steelers next week. What's OchoCinco going to do? Step on a Terrible Towel? Chug an Iron City and arm wrestle a girl from Blawnox, then I'll be impressed.

#22 Washington Redskins 1-1
Yay you beat the Rams!

#21 Oakland Raiders 1-1
Raiders could be half decent........and I could still play Tight End in the league. Probably could for the Raiders.....

#20 Houston Texans 1-1
Andre Johnson is on the next season of Heroes.

#19 Buffalo Bills 1-1
Should be 2-0. Leodis McKelvins lawn could tell you that.

#18 Seattle Seahawks 1-1
John Carlson is the Seahawks tight end. He is on my fantasy team. I'd tell you how he did for my fantasy team, but you don't care. On with your lives......

#17 Arizona Cardinals 1-1
Do I smell a Super Bowl runner-up hangover? No that's just Matt Leinart's Old Milwaukee burps.

#16 Dallas Cowboys 1-1
Nice stadium guys. Really, it looks nice.

#15 San Diego Chargers 1-1
LaDanian Tomlinson will come back from injury and lead the league in rushing. Defying the odds cliche baby......defying the odds.

#14 Chicago Bears 1-1
An 0-2 team in my mind. In my mind, I am still on TV.

#13 New England Patriots 1-1
Tommy Boy aint 100% ya wicked wankers, eh?

#12 Green Bay Packers 1-1
Aaron Rodgers needs to be more like ........... Todd Marinovich?!?

#11 Philadelphia Eagles 1-1
Donovan McNabb needs to heal his ribs and come back when 100%. Andy Reid needs to slow cook his ribs and season them with garlic salt.

#10 Denver Broncos 2-0
The worst 2-0 team. They have beat the Bungals and the Browns. That's like Ashley and I saying we should be tag team champions when we've only beat The Bushwackers. Man, I love early 90's wrestling references.

#9 San Francisco 49ers 2-0
I really haven't watched any of their games. Frank Gore runs swiftly.

#8 Pittsburgh Steelers 1-1
Jeff Reed hits a field goal, they are #1. Then again, Jeff Reed misses a field goal in Week 1, we are sitting at 0-2.

#7 Atlanta Falcons 2-0
You talk about Matty Ryan, Roddy White, and Mikey Turner but, their D is very talented. I sounded like a professional there.

#6 New Orleans Saints 2-0
Drew Brees just scored on you in your Madden season.

#5 Minnesota Vikings 2-0
Adrian Peterson is the reason. Not WranglerMcRetire-Rah.

#4 Indianapolis Colts 1-0*
Colts have yet to complete their second game, but they scored on the first play of Monday Night Football.....on the road.

#3 NY Jets 2-0
Why do I like the Jets? Why do I watch the Real World? Somethings are better said if you keep them to yourself.....

#2 Baltimore Ravens 2-0
It really really really pains me to say this.....the Ravens are good. I want to say nice things about Ray Lewis, I really do. Just not today........

#1 NY Giants 2-0
Anytime you can ruin a special night for Jerry Jones, you're number 1 in my book. Their D isn't messing around. Eli still sucks.

Tell me this sucked so I don't have to do it next week.

Go Steelers.

Keep reading Steve-Is-Alive and One For The Other Thumb.

ps: I am changing to steveisalive.com, soon. Just need some nerds to help me out. I'll keep ya updated.

Oh, You Silly Pirates

2009-09-21T12:06:00.004-04:00

This picture made me laugh really hard this morning. He was OK, that's why it's funny.

Please provide your caption as to what the kid is yelling at Lastings Milledge. Funniest caption wins one of my old t-shirts. Go bananas.

The Pirates lost 4-0 as well (Post-Gazette). Not like you care or anything.....

LETS GO BUCS!

Ah hahahahahaaha.

Yuck

2009-09-21T10:02:00.002-04:00

Not the best of weekends around the old Braband household. I really didn't do a damn thing that I planned. I laid around and watched sports ALL weekend. I need a hobby and or....a kayak.

Cheers to hoping your weekend was better than mine. Here is a rundown of how the weekend of Septermber 18th went up shits creek.......

-Jeff Reed's two missed field goals lead to a Steelers 17-14 loss at the hands of, DA Bears.

- Girlfriend's Eagles get trounced by the Saints. Bad mood city.

- Mayweather beats Marquez by unanimous decision on Saturday night. I was pro Marquez and listened to this all day, to get me pumped.

- I drank way too much 1800 tequila because.............. Mayweather beat Marquez by a unanimous decision.

- The dog pooped in the basement. True story.

- I am sore. Because I ran. Because I am fat.

Let's go "next weekend" Let's go!

I'll be here all week with the return of Monday Night Fullback (trying a new style) tonight!

In the meantime, continue your support of Cotter and I at One4TheOtherThumb. We be ballin'

Man, I'm so not hip.

Go Steelers.

Friday Happy Hour

2009-09-18T16:35:00.004-04:00

If you don't like stand up comedy, you can get the hell out.

Sorry, that was rude.

I saw comedian Drake Witham at the Hartford Funny Bone last night as the feature act for headliner, Jim Norton.

We all love and know Norton's comedy, and trust me he didn't disappoint, but Drake's comedy was fresh and new to me. Definitely a guy to watch in the comedy scene......if you are into that sort of thing.

Check out Drake's homepage.

Stick around this weekend as I will be writing a full preview of the Mayweather - Marquez bout. Should be up tomorrow in the AM.

Have a Fresca and take off your pants. It's Friday!

My Cousin Is A Smart Man

2009-09-18T11:31:00.001-04:00

Name something all males ages 18-35 enjoy, other than sports...........

Yes, booze!!!

From 10 dollar cases of Natty light to a classy evening of Crown Royal on the rocks, all of us dudes love our booze.

And guess what? My cousin found a way to parlay his love of fine drinking, into a writing career!

A talented man to say the least, my cousin Kevin is the author of - Cocktail Enthusiast - a website about, well, you guessed it......BOOZE!

Being an excellent writer and having a really in depth knowledge of the product (see: college career), led to JIM BEAM flying him (awwwwwwesome!!) to Kentucky for the Bourbon Festival! Read on about his travels and encounters with dudes named "The Colonel."

How come the Steelers have never flown me to Training Camp?

More Cocktail talk is necessary around these parts!

The Picks w/ McCarty

2009-09-18T10:00:00.006-04:00

No wacky intro today. McCarty is DOIN WORK! (We're are sticking with the title "The Picks", because I am a uncreative, no talent nothing)

The Picks

What’s up folks? Happy Friday. I hope you were able to take advantage of all the picks I made last week. It was a big week. 2-0 for +7 units on steve is alive(units meaning anything. I recommend trading marbles with your peers)…even more wins on my site…I’ll let you check out the deets yourself. For now, it is onto the picks for this week and we are sticking with the NFL.

Game #1
New Orleans Saints @ Philadelphia Eagles
Okay so here we have a Saints team that put 45 points last week and gave up 27 to the lowly Detroit Lions. They are traveling to the City of Brotherly Love to face an Eagles team that put up 38 points on the Panthers. The over/under for this game is currently at 46. Seems like a no brainer, right? Let’s explore.

Reasons why the total will not approach 80 points in this matchup
The Eagles defense is actually good. The tortured Jake DelHomme for 5 turnovers. They ended up with 7 total turnovers. They held the Panthers to under 100 yards rushing and also recorded five sacks.

McNabb is hurt. Anyone see Fuddle-Fingers Kolb playing last week? Fumbled twice and averaged about 3 yards per completion. There is a very good reason Philly signed Jeff Garcia this week.

The Panthers defense is probably better than Detroit’s. This is just a guess because they did not look very good last week.

The Saints run defense didn’t look awful. In fact Kevan Smith running for 20 yards on 15 carries made them look pretty good. With McNabb out, the Eagles are going to have to key in on the run more so than last week.

However, despite all of this, I am still suggesting taking the over. If McNabb was healthy, I would feel confident in dropping at least 10 units on this line. Since he is not, and the Eagles defense is going to be able to slow down this high powered Saints offense somewhat, I am suggesting 1 unit on the over at 46.

Game #2
Oakland @ Kansas City
Here we have our first Butt Bowl of the year. A real battle of the bottom feeders.
Call me crazy but I kind of liked the look of Oakland’s defense. I saw a lot of good tackling and a decent pass rush. I did not get the same feeling when I watched Kansas City. Joe Flacco completely torched them and once forgotten Todd Heap had a huge day. Keep your eyes out for Zach Miller this week, cuz there is no doubt that he will be getting some opportunities.
Right now Matt Cassell is questionable, but he has been practicing. Even if he does play, it is not like every NFL scout is sold on this guy. But regardless, there should be some rust. This should equate to some turnovers. Right now the line sits at Kansas City (-3). Keep your eyes peeled on this line to move in either direction by game time. As it stands right now, I like Oakland at (+3) for 2 units.

That is all for this week. Stay tuned to my site for any updates. Have a good weekend.

"Matt McCarty is a sports handicapper and the author of Oddsmakeradvantage.com"

It's Always Sunny

2009-09-16T20:41:00.003-04:00

As many of readers know, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is my favorite TV show. The genius level on this show exceeds that of Brown University.

If you haven't seen this show, you haven't laughed yet. The childish antics followed by an insane disregard for other humans, makes Sunny the best show on cable.

Below is the Trailer for Season 5, which starts Thursday (tonight, if you are reading this Thursday) evening. But do yourself a favor, watch Seasons 1-4 to catch up with all the madness and immaturity!

Besides my girlfriend Ashley, this show is the best thing about Philly.

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia - show page

More Steve, More Nonsense

2009-09-16T13:01:00.004-04:00

Big News people - more Steve on the Internet!!!

(Hell yeah - I am definitely dancing to the same song as you are!!!!!)

Recently I was asked to contribute to one of my favorite Steelers' blogs, One For The Other Thumb, and, of course, I graciously obliged.

I know what your first thought is - "How the hell are you going to write for two blogs, when you can't even successfully manage one?" The answer is simple - I just will. OK? Get off me.

I plan on splitting my time evenly between these two sites of nonsense, without losing focus, or posting just to post - meaning you wont get 4 sentence fragments and a YouTube video. This, I promise.

Anyways.......please continue your support of both Steve Is Alive and OFTOT. I'll be writing my balls off for both!

I love me some me!

Check out Cotters introduction of the man, the myth, the mother trucking legend.......Steve "The Man" Braband. (I hope you know I am laughing at that) - One For The Other Thumb

We Get The Steelers Game!!!

2009-09-16T09:57:00.009-04:00

Ashley discovered this nice little Internet tool - NFL Maps. The maps outline which games will be broadcasted to which regions on Sundays. Complicated, huh?

The maps are usually updated on Thursday and I figure it to be a useful tool for all of us displaced fans of Steeler Nation. And for a man that no longer has DirectTV NFL Ticket this is HUGE!

This week, the Steelers - Bears game will be the second part of the CBS double header, broadcasted to the majority of the east coast - including Connecticut! Wa-hooo!

At least for Week 2, I don't have to go to an overpriced Connecticut bar and hear people yell "WIIIIIIIIIICKED" whenever Tom Brady completes a pass.

And that my friends, is a very very very good thing.......

I can also refrain from spending 27 on chili cheese fries and pints of Oktoberfest. My stomach thanks you, guy who makes these NFL maps.

Wed Wit Steve

2009-09-16T09:34:00.005-04:00

I very incredibly sick to my stomach yesterday and called out of work.

Therefore, how I could I justify blogging when I could not be at the WWL?

So no Tuesday's With Steve yesterday. I can hear your jaw dropping on the floor.

Now it's Wednesday.......ick.

4 more days till Steelers - Bears. Until then, watch this......

You have a friend that is each and everyone of those guys. h/t to DVE

An announcement later today that is super neat and exciting.

ps: Rent Crank 2 for the most absurd gratuitous sex scene in cinema history. Funny flick.

Classic

2009-09-14T10:43:00.005-04:00

That very small image I have provided for you reads -

FOR SALE BY CONTRACT - Jake Delhomme, NFL QB. 11 Years. 6'2" 215 lbs. Age 34. 15 TDs in 2008, 12 INTs. Loyal. Needs a Loving Home. Serious Offers, Please. Trades Accepted. Contact: John Fox @ 800 South Mint St, Charlotte, NC (704) 358 7000.

Some wacky Panthers fan put QB Jake Delhomme up on Criagslist after his dismal, 4 interception day against the Eagles.

Doubt there will be any takers, much like for my 1997 Ford Taurus, green, with 77,000 miles. Contact if interested......

Just a classic move from a disgruntled fan.

Something little to make you giggle on a Monday.......and a reminder to count your blessings that you are not a Panthers fan.

Jake Delhomme on Craigslist

Eagles - Panthers recap

More Snoop & Steelers

2009-09-13T09:59:00.003-04:00

Jamie Dixon is currently looking into Mr. Snoop's eligibility.

More links from Friday's concert in the Burgh, courtesy of Mr. Greg "Broken Clavicle" Simoff, who was in attendance.

Gin and Juice with a Steelers Shirt

Snoop's entrance

Santonio Holmes and LaMarr Woodley join Snoop on-stage

Thinking about dedicating a weekly post to the D-O-Double-G. What a guy!

Two Of The Baddest Mother Truckers

2009-09-12T12:18:00.005-04:00

............"in the same mother f***in place at the same mother f***in time. "

These are two of my favorie people in America.

Big ups to PSAMP for this video - head over there to see Snoop explain himself (for this), during his concert last night in the Burgh.

"It's like Ali - Fraizer!"

Man, how cool are those guys!?!?

Friday Happy Hour - Featuring "The Picks"

2009-09-11T11:34:00.004-04:00

9/11/01

Nothing is more American than this......

The Ultimate Warrior is jealous of that entrance.

This week, I introduce "The Picks" Featuring - Matt "He Hate Me" McCarty. Matt is a degenerate gambler who loves to check out the weekly spreads (you can make the joke, guys) and will be bringing you his weekend locks, every Friday. He is also the author of - OddsmakersAdvantage.com.

I've been really lazy lately and have been having other people write for me - it's awesome.

Enjoy "The Picks" (not just a clever name) and trust this guy, he KNOW's what he is talking about......

THE PICKS
While many of you decided to play drinking games during the preseason (do a shot every time the announcer comments on how “young guys are fighting for roster spots”, two shots every time an announcer describes a preseason injury as “a coach’s worst nightmare”), I decided to watch the games attentively, getting any information I could to help me make some easy picks come Week 1.

The great thing about Week 1 is that the public is still picking based on a team’s performance from last year. Meanwhile, Vegas knows that there is indeed a huge difference between Carson Palmer and Ryan Fitzpatrick (Compare.........And Contrast)

So luckily for you guys, I take note of such differences and have hand selected two games in the NFL this week that should equate to VICTORIES (money) in your neat little office pool (vegas casino).

Game #1
Dallas Cowboys (-3) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers
OK so you definitely have to take in account that Nick Folk will miss at least one field goal. The guy has been complete junk all preseason. Is it cobwebs from his off season surgery? Or is he the reincarnation of Ray Finkle? The good thing is you do not have to answer this question. This game will not come down to a field goal.

It seems as if everyone is crapping their pants now that T.O. is gone. If you haven’t noticed, Jerry Jones is still shelling out the cash and equipping Tony Romo with enough weapons to make any Texan proud. He still got Patrick Crayton, Jason Witten and Roy Williams to toss to. He still got Marion Barber, Felix Jones and Tashard Choice to hand off to. And last I checked, the right side of the line still consists of Marc Columbo and Leonard Davis. This team is going to be just fine in the endzone. If anything, Romo won’t be forcing passes into coverage just to keep T.O. happy.

On defense, Dallas should still fair decently against the run. DeMarcus Ware and Bradie James will make sure the three pronged monster of Cadillac, Derrick Ward and Earnest Graham are held to at least the second level. The biggest question mark is certainly the Cowboys’ secondary.
Okay, so the Bucs got Kellen Winslow now, which will make it tough to double Antonio Bryant. New starting QB Byron Leftwich is a pretty decent pocket passer too. Tampa Bay’s offensive line looks much weaker with Arron sears quitting, and it makes it tough to decide if Leftwich will even have a pocket to pass from. Oh yeah, and they just fired their offensive coordinator a week ago!

Now I am not saying that the Bucs are the steaming turd of the NFC, I am just saying that they will not be ready by Week 1 to complete with the ‘boys. I would suggest locking this in now, because this line is going to creep creep creep all the way up 7 or 8 points by kickoff.
Cowboys (-3) for 2 units.

Game #2
Minnesota Vikings (-4) @ Cleveland Browns
Public is already jumping on this line, as it has moved from 3 to 4 since the start of the week. I suggest locking this one in now…like right now! It will definitely move as much as 2 points more by kickoff. The public is pounding the Vikes at a clip of 87-13 ATS. If this line does not move, by gametime, then something is extremely fishy and I suggest you check our site for any last minute updates.

My thoughts are that Vegas is holding this line steady for now, hoping for all the fade the public addicts to stuff the books with late money on Browns. Do I really think Vegas would pull a reverse trap line in Week 1 of the season? In the words of renowned scholar Sarah Palin, “You bethca.”

While fading the public under strict rules has proved to leave a bettor with just a smidge more than the juice in winnings, there are also those 39% of games where it does not work. Late money is a phenomenon caused by people too lazy to actually study games or lines. They see the public on one side, wait till the last minute, and load the boat with enough to cover three mortgages in a good school district (I’m looking at you Seneca Valley).
So for now, let’s just look at the match ups.

The Browns starting quarterback was outed by Terrell Owens via Twitter. Eric Mangini was trying to keep it a secret until game time, obviously taking a page from Belichik’s book. This book is titled “Keep the Opponent Guessing: How to lie about Depths Charts and Injury Reports and Get Away With It”.

The problem with this is T.O. was not lying when he said Brady Quinn was the starter. Maybe one day he will be a good QB, but not this Sunday. Replacing Kellen Winslow with Robert Royal didn’t do the Browns any favors either. The same can be said for replacing Joe Jurevicious with Mike Furrey. Jamal Lewis also only averaged 2.6 yard/carry in the preseason. In short, this offense looks like a hot mess.

On the other hand, the Vikings look improved. Brett Favre is perfect fit for them because their game plan is to run the ball over and over and over again, until eventually, the Browns stack 12 men on the line (or they will atleast try to) and then Favre either hit Bernard Berrian deep (like he was Donald Driver) or check down to Shiancoe for a big gain over the middle (like he was Bubba Franks).

The best part about all of this is that Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor pack a bigger punch than Ahman Green and Dorsey Levens ever did. And this Browns defense is not exactly going to shut off that valve in the running game.

The Vikings D is also very good, with good pass rushers complimented by a sure-tackling secondary. If the Browns are going to beat this defense, it is going to have to be DEEEEEP, and Quinn’s noodle arm is not going to be up to task for this.
The play on this game is Vikings (-4) for 5 units.

**The End**

I'll probably switch this to it's own separate post next week. Just wanted to unveil this greatness via the sub-par Friday Happy Hour feature.

I'll be around this weekend. Have a whiskey!

Go Steelers.

W.

2009-09-11T09:41:00.003-04:00

If you wanted to watch a bunch excitment and scoring, last night's (Steelers - Titans) game was not for you. Go watch the Real World.

To me, that was football. Two teams going balls to the wall, smashing eachother in the face, and doing everything humanily possible to get that W.

Steelers get the win last night, 13-10......in case you were watching One Tree Hill last night.

Don't use that shitty cliche "a wins, a win" around here. I don't buy that. So what if we didn't see "Gadget" plays or the "wildcat formation" for 8 TD's. That was a hard fought battle in which the Steelers made up for their mistakes, held their ground on defense, and drove down the field when it mattered.

I hate doing lists, but I think this is the best way for me to convay how I feel after each and every Steeler game. Just a bunch of thoughts and observations from the night on the gridiron. Accept this.

- Troy's injury sucks. Expectations are 3-6 weeks. I say he makes it back after the bye week (which would be 6 weeks, Steve), thus missing the Bears, Bengals, Chargers, Lions, Browns, and Vikings. It won't be like he will be missing the greatest game(s) of all time. Even without Troy in the secondary, I still think the Steelers go 4-2 AT WORST, during those game.

- Troy's 1st quarter INT > than David Tyree's SB 42 catch. (No Helmet required)

- Need to figure out the whole "running the ball successfully." Can't pin point anyone to improve, and it's only one game......but that is something we would like to see get better. OK?

- Tennessee will be perfectly fine. Their defensive front is great and they got all the weapons on offense, to succeed. Justin Gage is always open - how does that happen?

- Stefan Logan will break one........soon.

- Santonio Holmes is slowing becoming one of the most "sure-handed" receivers in the league. He almost caught Lendale Whites herpes......almost.

- Pittsburgh looks unreal in HD.

- Casey Hampton, Brett Keisel, and Aaron Smith continue to cause havoc. Those 3 are the reason why teams can't run the ball against the Steelers D. "It starts up front!!!!"

- Lastly, don't ever.....and I mean...EVER, tell me that Hines should have caught the ball and fell to the ground - thus allowing the field goal team to run out and kick the winning field goal in regulation. I want Hines to try to score on every single play. That's what offensive football players are born to do. Score. You can't argue this. If Hines scores on that fumble, everyone sings his praises on what a "great competitor" he is. He fumbled, so people are throwing fits. 9 out of 10 times, 86 holds on to the ball. Not to mention, Titans safety, Micheal Griffin made a hell of a tomahawk chop, on the ball.

It was week 1, the Steelers are 1-0. Yes, there are some things to work on, as will be the case with EVERY NFL team, but the Steelers are 1-0. 1-0. Best record in the league. Ha!

Don't forget, the Titans are an elite NFL football team.....and the Steelers beat 'em.

Good Start!

Comeback for more, later. Please.

Go Steelers!

Roommate Season Preview: The Pittsburgh Steelers

2009-09-10T00:07:00.010-04:00

Hey did I ever tell you guys about this time I booked a plane ticket to Tampa Bay and ended up inside one the greatest Super Bowls in the history of the NFL? Good story - I'll save it for a rainy day.

That was last year, a great time as it was, it's over. The title defense begins tonight at 8:30pm against the Terrible Towel stomping jerkoffs from Tennessee. Is there one dude on that team you'd want to hang out with? No.

To preview our champs, I've brought along my brother in Super Bowl glory, Patrick Muldowney.
Pat's preview kicks ass. Born and raised in the mean streets of Plum, Pat knows what it means to "bleed black and gold." Pat's not one for statistics, incoherent arguments (unless he has had a few pops and girls are being loud/obnoxious), and or people from Baltimore. He hates when you tell him how many points Derrick Ward got you in Week 7 of your fantasy season just as much as he hates when his shirts aren't folded neatly. You won't get that joke. It's ok.

Read on, or you wont know what it is like to be a champion -

Boom.

Roommate Season Preview: The Pittsburgh Steelers
By- Patrick Muldowney

There are 5 million blogs on the Internet that will take the time to statistically break down why who will win what when this NFL season better than I could. Some of them will be right. Most of them will be wrong. Either way, I couldn't care less. The only "season preview" I'm interested in reading is the Pittsburgh Steelers final numerical roster of 53 men who have the ability to shape the way my 2009-2010 plays out. Those 53 guys are immediately my guys. I don't care where they went to school, how many years they've been in the league, if they've been Steelers before or not (this year, most of them have), what their reputation is, or what kind of person they are off of the field. I care that those 53 guys are going to dress themselves in Black and Gold on Sundays and take the field for their teammates, their coaches, and for us, the city of Pittsburgh. This is undoubtedly the second greatest sports decade in the rich history of Pittsburgh, and don't think for a second that this fact is lost on any of the 53. They did it in 2005, they did it again last year. The Penguins matched them last season as well. The Pirates? Well there's always next year (again...).

Why does this matter you ask? The 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers are not the 2006 Pittsburgh Steelers. The 2009 city of Pittsburgh is not the 2006 city of Pittsburgh. Super Bowl XL was the first taste of a championship brought to the 'burgh in 13 years, it was overwhelming to both the city and most of the individuals that took the field each week. This is different. This year they're ready. This year we're ready. Coach Tomlin refuses to let complacency sink in within his locker room. Ben Roethlisberger said that what matters to him is 5-rings. He didn't mean the fifth organizational ring he helped bring to the city in '05, he means 5 rings on his own fingers. This 27 year old veteran quarterback may not have been one of the top 15 quarterbacks taken in your fantasy draft last week, but that's OK with him. This kid is here to win, and that is exactly what he has done. At 27 he has one fewer ring than Tom Brady, and as many as the Manning brothers combined. He's on a mission. The rest of the squad? - Well if you've read any national publication previewing the Steelers upcoming season you know that it's impossible to repeat, that Hines is washed up, Willie has lost a step, the offensive line still isn't any good, the defense is a year older, and there's nothing special about the Special Teams. You think this team is satisfied with being last year's champions? Yeah, you're probably right. James Harrison probably forgot that he was cut 937 times before getting a chance in Pittsburgh too.

My point here is that there is something to be said for knowing how to win. It doesn't matter if you have the most talented team in the league if you don't know how to win. This Pittsburgh Steelers team knows how to win, and not just how to win games, how to win championships. The old saying for success goes "act like you've been there before", which is precisely what this team is going to do(specifically, by not acting LIKE they did when they were there before.) One of the first things Mike Tomlin preached during the Super Bowl post-game interviews last year was that he was going to make it clear to his team that they would not be "Defending Champions"entering the 2009 season. They're just one of 32 teams that is coming into this season with one goal, and one goal only...to be the champions of THIS season.

So Bloggerville, USA, go ahead and spew your stats. Tell me who has the toughest schedule. Tell me why a team can't repeat. Tell me that everyone guns for the "Defending Champions." Tell me what the percentages tell you. Podcast to me your predictions, Skype me your statistics, Facebook me your facts, and Twitter me your '10 things to expect'. Just be sure to leave your email address so I can send you the pictures of me celebrating in Miami with the rest of my Black and Gold brothers and sisters. Okel dokel? Yoi.

Here We Go.

**THE END***

Well put, my friend.

While Pat touched on everything that needs to be said. I will provide my 5 Things To Watch - for this year's squad. No goofy intro, here we go -

5. William Gay and Lawerence Timmons as Full Time Starters
- Watch these two week in and week out (Timmons wont be out there tonight, but most likely will be back next week) they play with HIGH energy and are extremely physical. I think this is an upgrade from McFadden and Foote, respectively.

4. Super Bowl Hangover
- Don't believe this to be an actual thing. Won't happen this year. The only hangover you will see this year, is the one with Zach Galifinakis in his underwear.

3. Limas Sweed
- There hasn't been bigger expectations since the book, Great Expectations. That book sucked....Limas Sweed will not. I'm predicting big numbers for #14 (as is every other yinzer) and looking for him to be a go-to, downfield threat! Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!

2. Willie and Rashard
- Sounds like a sitcom. It's going to be interesting to see how Tomlin continues to please Willie, while at the same time increasing Mendenhalls experience in the backfield. "Willie is our guy" is what Tomlin proclaimed last week. I like it! I like having one "go-to" running back. In my mind, Willie get's hurt and or tired, Rashard's smash mouth running style will be tough for a defense to adjust to. I like the one - two combo in the backfield. However, lets call them something original, unlike "Smash and Dash". How about AssKicker and FaceBreaker? YEAAAAAAAAAA!

1. Large Benny
- Let's be honest, Ben is the leader and backbone of this team. The offense goes as far as Benny takes them. If Ben has a repeat performance of 2006, it'll be a long year. If we get a nice cake mix of 2007 and 2008 Ben, we could be waltzing our way to Miami.

Real quick: Peep our schedule again, once we get past the first Ravens game, I think its a marble, cream cheese frosting, cake walk - to the playoffs. Disagree with that, I dare you....

Other than that, not much more to go into. The season starts in a few hours.

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HERE WE GO STEELERS HERE WE GO!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

recap tomorrow - regardless of outcome

Cue, Renegade

2009 NFL Season Preview: 50 Facts I Think Might Be True

2009-09-09T23:58:00.004-04:00

Yeah, I did this last year, and some of them turned out to be true.....and some were horribly incorrect.. Regardless it was a lot of fun and interesting to look back on, after the season.

That was probably my favorite post of the Steve Is Alive virgin months.......

The only thing that mattered - I got my Super Bowl pick correctly.

So dudes, why not do it again? Nobody opposed? You sure? Ok man....

Here.......We..........GO!

"50 Facts I Think Might Be True" - for the 2009 NFL Season.

50. Although wishing injury on someone is frowned upon (see #50 from last year) - Tom Brady will miss significant time, again.

49. The Cleveland Browns and The Cincinnati Bengals will have a 9-9 tie in one of their two matchups.

48. Oakland Raiders' owner, Al Davis, will morf into this .......Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones will have to kill him/it.

47. Mike Vick will score one touchdown this year. One.

46. Buffalo Bills games will receive lower ratings than The T.O Show.

45. Micheal Crabtree won't suit up for the 49ers until Week 10.

44. Despite shedding pounds and quitting Tequilla, LenDale White will still resemble Jabba the Hut rather than a professional football player.

43. In honor of the #43 (Super Bowl 43 and Polamalu) - The Pittsburgh Steelers will go undefeated at home.

42. BOLD PREDICTION # 1 - Matt Leinart will start AND win more games than Kurt Warner for the Arizona Cardinals - AND they will make the playoffs.

41. No man in America, will hate his job more than, Richard Seymour.

40. Brandon Marshall will NOT be traded and will NOT be in the top ten in receiving (see: Kyle Orton).

39. Comeback player of the year = LaDanian Tomlinson.

38. However, Vince Young will not "come back."

37. Even though he will have participated in games, thrown passes, and gotten sacked......Eric Mangini will never announce who the starting QB is. (Literally 2 hours after I wrote this the Cleveland Plain Dealer reported Quinn would start, ah well, I'm leaving it in.)

36. An old senile lady, on the streets of Manhattan, will confuse Jets Rookie QB Mark Sanchez for a young John Travolta.

35. Despite living in Connecticut, I will tailgate for a Steelers game this year. (no plans yet, but I'll get there)

34. This year's version of the 2008 Miami Dolphins? Answer: The Houston Texans.

33. Byron Leftwich, Josh Freeman, Josh Johnson, and a player to be named later, will all take snaps under center for the Tampa Bay Bucs.

32. Tavaris Jackson, Sage Rosenfels, AND Brett Favre, will all take snaps under center for the Minnesota Vikings.

31. Punters will hit the Dallas scoreboard.....on purpose......and it will be awesome. Eat it, Jerry.

30. The Oakland Raiders.........holy shit, what a disaster!

29. The Detroit Lions will go from 0-16 to 9-7.

28. Earl Bennett (Chicago Bears) will become the best wide receiver you've never heard of.

27. Limas Sweed will lead the Steelers in receiving touchdowns - 10. Holmes - 9. Ward - 8. Had to......

26. Shawne Merriman will fist fight your girlfriend.

25. Despite being ranked low, Brian Westbrook, Willie Parker, Joseph Addai, and Ryan Grant will all have banner years for your fantasy team.

24. Despite being ranked HIGH, Steve Slaton will NOT have a good year for your fantasy team.

23. Despite having "THE BEST TEAM EVER" your buddy who you are watching the game with, will not give a hoot about your fantasy team's weekly statistics. Just watch the game, dude.

22. Reggie Wayne will have more receiving yards than Larry Fitzgerald, Andre Johnson, Calvin Johnson, and Randy Moss.

21. Best Monday Night Football game - December 7th Ravens vs Packers. 34-31- Pack in OT.

20. The uneducated tirades and complaints of Jets, Giants, and Patriots fans at the bar, will make me want to move to Alaska and follow the Iditarod.

19. Even though they were separated, Josh McDaniels and Jay Cutler will remain total schmucks.

18. Break out tight end of the year: Dustin Keller.(Ashley's prediction - She really likes this guy, this year.)

17. No really dude, the Oakland Raiders will be THAT bad.

16. I will regret not having Direct TV this year. And so will you......

15. Jon Kitna will start for your Fantasy Team (and yes, the Cowboys too).

14. Arizona Cardinals Running Back, Beanie Wells will win NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year.

13. Washington Redskins Defensive End, Brian Orakpo will win NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year.

12. Ben Roethlisberger will throw more TD passes than Phillip Rivers, Eli Manning, and wait for it...... Drew Brees.

11. Our puppy Indy, will root for the Steelers over Ashley's Eagles. Why? Well......you know why.

10. BOLD PREDICTION #2 The labor talks will go surprisingly well and we WILL have NFL Football in 2011.

9. Mike Tomlin will win Coach of the Year, Coach of the Century, Coach You'd Want To Pick Up Chicks With, and Coach, You Wish Was Your Favorite Teams, Coach.

8. 2009 FAIL = The Wildcat offense. Defenses will figure that garbage out.

7. Brett Favre will retire at seasons end. We will leave it at that.....

6. The Jaguars and 49ers will both go 8-8 and continue to be the most boring teams to watch.

5. Forget the World Series, NFL Sunday's are America's pastime!!!!

4. Your AFC playoff teams - Steelers, Colts, Patriots, Chargers, WC - Ravens and Texans.

3. Your NFC playoff teams - Eagles, Vikings, Cardinals, Saints, WC- Packers and Bears.

2. Yes, finally there will be a Pennsylvania Super Bowl. Eagles - Steelers for Lombardi's Trophy.

1. The Pittsburgh Steelers will repeat as Super Bowl Champions.

So if that's true - I'll be single in February. That's really not a joke, I showed Ashley this and she nodded her head in agreement. No words.

Pray for me, dudes.

The season is upon us. Get out your Terrible Towel!!

HERE WE GO STEELERS! HERE WE GO!! oooooooooooh oooooooooooooooooooooooh!!!

Roommate Season Preview: The Philadelphia Eagles

2009-09-08T20:47:00.007-04:00

No, that's not Ashley.

This lady looks intense. I'm sure she holds the Arm Wrestling championship at her local VFW. She is the perfect picture example, of a stereotypical Eagles fan - yelling about something that is inaccurate and or, wrong.

She's also clearly crushing the berries of the man sitting to her right.......

Never mind Large Marge, lets get to the writer at hand. When you say the words "die hard" you think of batteries, Bruce Willis, and Philly fans. My girlfriend Ashley is one of those loud mouth, in your face, DIE HARD, Philly fans. I honestly truly believe if the Eagles would have met the Steelers in the Super Bowl last year, she would have broken up with me from February through March. If the result was the same (last minute super awesome spectacular drive by Big Ben, capped off by a last second TD to Sant- for the win), I wouldn't have spoke to her until July.

Her entire week is ruined if the Eagles lose. She thinks Andy Reid is sexy. She has eaten a cheese steak for breakfast. Most importantly - she knows Philly fans are the captains of the Asshole Fans of America Coalition.

She is my girlfriend- she is obsessed with the Philadelphia Eagles.

She also went to an Ivy league school and makes me feel like an idiot on a daily basis. Enjoy her highly educated scribbles -

2009 Philadelphia Eagles Season Preview
Written by - Ashley McCloskey

Let me begin with a little story. A few weeks ago at Robek’s Juice I was wearing a pretty sweet dri-fit shirt that boasted my favorite team’s logo. The guy behind the counter, let’s call him Sven, peered at the design and commented, “Oh, Eagles?” “Yes,” I replied. “What do you think about the team this year?” Sven asked me. Sort of a broad question, upon which I could invariably expound for days. I decided to keep my answer relatively brief. “Well, I’m nervous about injuries.” I told him. “We’ve had a lot of big injuries. Our starting o-linemen won’t even line up for a snap together before the regular season.” Sven looked at me blankly. Just looked at me. Then said, “The Eagles got Michael Vick.” Ohhhh. Thank you, Sven. I hadn’t heard. I decided not to tell Sven he was a dumbass because I really like Robek’s (and I didn’t want him to spit in my smoothie) and also because, really, it wasn’t his fault. As members of the media or casual football fans discussing the Eagles, why would anyone talk about anything other than the ex-felon? But that’s why Steve Braband is such a genius.* Because he didn’t enlist casual fans, he recruited passionate fans to preview their franchises. And as someone who bleeds green, I am here to tell you: Michael Vick is not the story of this team.

(*the word “genius” is used very loosely here.)

With the acquisition of Vick, all of the Eagles’ other story lines (both good and bad) have fallen by the wayside. Nobody really remembers that our draft was awesome, or that we snaked Jason Peters from the Bills (sorry, Nem). No one cares that we finally have an ACTUAL fullback in Leonard Weaver or that we brought in Stacy Andrews to help balance out his previously-injured-arguably-depressed (but pro-bowl-worthy) brother. Vick brings a level of fan excitement and media attention to this team that we haven’t had since T.O. was around. But to me that situation was vastly different, because that team had a problem that getting T.O. specifically addressed and (briefly) fixed. The only problem we have now that I see Vick directly helping us with is our short-yardage crisis. He was a beast on 3rd-and-short situations in the preseason. And if having him around means McNabb doesn’t have to line up out of the shot gun and throw on a potentially game changing 4th-and-inches, then I’ll buy Indy a #7 jersey. The rest of Vick’s impact is a huge question mark, and to be honest, I consider any success he might have an added bonus. With 4 of our 5 starting linemen finally healthy and ready to go, I think our offense can be pretty explosive without him. Donovan has a solid 2 years of great football left, and the only thing he has yet to do besides finish a season healthy, is win a Super Bowl. The man is motivated. And this year, he has some viable weapons. DeSean Jackson had a breakout rookie year, and his sophomore stint can only get better, as he’s invariably learned not to dump the ball before crossing the goal line. Jeremy Maclin is really fast. And even though he’s gonna need some time to get used to the system and all that, just trying to keep up with him AND DeSean is going to be tough for defenses. Westbrook had more surgery in the offseason, which isn’t surprising since he always seems to be hurt. But for a hurt guy, he plays quite a lot and puts up some amazing numbers. I don’t need to see him play a snap in the preseason to know he’s going to be nasty, per usual. Add to that the fact that Shady McCoy had a RIDICULOUS camp and has been playing with the first team in B-West’s absence (and has looked awesome at it), and I’m comfortable with where our offense stands now (and I think we’ll only get better as the season progresses.) If only we had a backup tight end.

Our defense, on the other hand… well, I can sum it up for you pretty easily. We lost Brian Dawkins. And we are replacing him with a rookie named, “Macho.” Do you understand? A rookie. Whose name is Macho. This is not the same Eagles defense as last year. Our defensive coordinator, Jim Johnson, passed away and left a legacy that is going to be hard to uphold this season. As I said, we lost Dawkins, the heart and soul of not only the defense, but probably the entire team. We lost our starting MLB and up-and-coming leader, Stewart Bradley, for the season and are handing his job over to another rook, Joe Mays. We have frankly looked awful against the run. It’s like we have a lot of sick special teams players out there as our starters. Wait, it’s not like that… it is that. Subsequently, our special teams unit is really strong. Haha?

This season I’ll probably turn up the volume and stare with rapt attention every time the Eagles have an offensive possession, then change the channel, keep my fingers crossed, and watch bottom lines every time we’re on defense. (That’s not true. Even when I feel compelled to cover my face during a game, I still peek through my fingers. Can’t miss any Eagles football.) So if Macho and our defense can refrain from giving up too many long uncontested touchdown passes, I could see the Eagles going a healthy 11-5.

**Update alert: No way! We just signed a backup tight end! YESSS! http://www.philadelphiaeagles.com/news/Story.asp?story_id=18654 **

Now I’m feeling WAY optimistic. Let’s make that 11-4-1. We’ll make the playoffs, despite losing to some terrible teams and tying someone like the Raiders, and who knows what will happen from there.

Maybe our defense will have garnered the experience and wisdom needed to keep us in games. Maybe our offense will have enough of the big play-making guys necessary for a deep playoff run. And who knows, maybe one ex-convict will be in good enough football shape come February that he can push us over the edge. Maybe this IS our year.

I could also win the lottery and lose 15 pounds.

***THE END***

Good work, lady. I personally have high expectation for my female friends, birds of flight. I am saying 12-4 and the #2 seed in the NFC playoffs. Why oh why did she say 11-4-1? Another tie? After last years 13-13 tie against the Bengals, her actions led me to believe Football no longer existed to her, and she would move to Alaska to fashion high end igloos.

Next up: 50 NFL predictions and a super mega awesome post, dedicated the World Champs.

Gotta get dat Oprah. (ha!)

Steelers, go.

Roommate Season Preview: The Cleveland Browns

2009-09-08T10:00:00.003-04:00

No, that's not my roommate Matt.

Although, if Matt and Drew Carey had a kid..............

Just like I said last time - Sometimes as Steeler fans, we forget what it is like to wake up on Sunday mornings and fear that our favorite football team will lose. Living with 4 other ESPN employees I get to witness this fear every Sunday of the NFL season.

This is truly the case, when it comes to Matthew and his Cleve' Brownies.

Last year, we shunned Matt to the basement to watch the Browns. The sounds that would come flying up the steps were reminiscent of the screams in the Blair Witch Project.

A passionate fan to say the least, our little buddy is a realist when it comes to the Browns. I mean, how can you pick a team to win the Super Bowl, when they haven't even named their starting QB yet.

Matt knows this. Matt knows what to expect. In all reality, we all know what to expect from the Browns - they're the Browns.......ya know?

But if you want more of an in-depth preview of the Steelers arch nemesis, please indulge yourself into Matt's thoughts and predictions. Enjoy......

Cleveland Browns 2009 Season Preview

Written by - Matthew Sivillo

Well here we are again…a new regime in Cleveland…it’s like 2005 all over again. Out goes Romeo Crennel (ex-Patriot’s coach)…in comes Eric Mangini (ex-Patriot’s coach). Out goes Savage (ex-Raven’s front office staff)…in comes Kokinis (ex-Raven’s front office staff). So we pretty much just traded in the 2005 model for the brand new 2010 model. Apparently, the Cash for Clunkers program applies to the NFL this year too.

THE OFF-SEASON
So what exactly has the new front office done for us so far? Here’s a look at the Browns off-season and how they changed the team:

TRADES: We got rid of Tight End, Kellen Winslow, and got a second round draft pick (WR-Mohammed Massaquoi) from the Bucs in return. Basically, we traded in our #1 receiving threat for a rookie wide-receiver.

FREE AGENCY: We lost a couple average defensive players (LB-Andra Davis, S-Sean Jones, DB-Daven Holly) and picked up some potentially-good defensive players (LB-Eric Barton, DB-Corey Ivy, DB-Rod Hood, DB-Hank Poteat). In otherwords, our defensive back and line backing corps are going to look completely different.

DRAFT CLASS: Many Browns fans were ready to dismiss the new front office after trading our 1st round draft pick…twice. However, I think it was a wise choice: in return we got another second round draft pick, a great Defensive End (Kenyon Coleman), a mediocre safety (Abram Elam), and a backup QB (Brett Ratliff). We passed on big names like Mark Sanchez, Jeremy Maclin, and Rey Maualuga…but Brian Robiskie and Massaquoi should even out the losses of Stallworth and Jurevicius at receiver. And although we passed on Maualuga we did get his former fellow USC LB, Kaluka Maiava. Also, we got a future star Center, Alex Mack in the 1st round.

CONCLUSION: The off-season was mediocre. There is a lot of uncertainty in how the rookies will turn out. Mangini brought over a lot of his former Jets players, whether that is a good thing or a bad thing is yet to be seen. Free Agency was a joke this year for us…we spent too much money on draft picks.

THE SEASON AHEAD
So after looking at the off-season acquisitions and the 2-2 pre-season result…here’s my prediction for the 2009 Browns:

The Browns are in a transition year…yep, I’ve said that almost every year since the Browns returned in ’99…but, seriously this time. A new coach, a new GM, tons of new players…this team needs to find some chemistry fast. If they don’t come out of the gates with wins against the Vikings and Broncos, they’re going to be in some trouble.

THE NEGATIVES: First, the QB situation is getting out-of-control, but I agree it’s too neck-and-neck between Quinn and Anderson. The main problem with the controversy may be that neither of them are that good, and this could this all just be a waste of time until we tank the division and draft Bradford, McCoy, or Tebow next year?

Second, our running back corps is garbage. Jamal Lewis is our first stringer and he barely made the 53-man roster. In my opinion, get rid of the aging Lewis, and split time between James Davis and Jerome Harrison…two RB’s who are much faster and don’t fall down as soon as someone touches them. (Editors note - I laughed really hard at that statement. Might be the most truthful thing said on this blog).

Finally, the defensive backs…a lot of them are new to the team, so they have never played with each other. There is potential, but I wouldn’t expect them to be able to stop some of the leagues best receivers.

THE POSITIVES: First and foremost…the Browns Special Teams could be the best in the league this year. Not only was Cribbs tearing things up in pre-season, but Gerard Lawson had some sick returns in the last pre-season game against Chicago. I think the Special Teams could be the best part of the team…certainly the most exciting.

Second, the defensive line and it’s leader, Shaun Rogers. Rogers had a great year last season and puts fear in O-lines and backs with his eye-gouging personality. If his attitude can rub off on the rest of line the Browns could finally start to intimidate some offenses.

Finally, the O-line…Joe Thomas will not allow a single sack this year…seriously, he’s a one-man wrecking crew. (Editors note #2 - 2 words. James. Harrison.)

THE X FACTOR: Braylon Edwards…he’s looked great in pre-season and seems to have gotten rid of his stone-hands he had all last season. If he can catch passes like he did in 2007 he could be one of the top receivers in the league…IF the QB can get the ball to him.

FINAL PREDICTION: The Browns will go 7-9 this year, finishing 3rd in the AFC North. They will go 3-3 in the division beating the Bengals twice, but losing to the Ravens twice. Eric Mangini will do something Romeo Crennel never did, and that is beat the Steelers once. It will come in mid-October in Pittsburgh (we’re due), and will help to re-kindle the once-great rivalry. However, the Browns will get pummeled at home when the Steelers push towards the playoffs in December (a Thursday night game at that). The other 4 wins will come against the Bills, Lions, Raiders, and Chiefs. 3 Browns will make the Pro-Bowl: Joe Thomas, Braylon Edwards, and Shaun Rogers.

****THE END****

Good work Mathias. However, 7-9 is incorrect. I'm going to go with 6-10. Come on, even that guy pictured above knows the Browns can't beat the Steelers.

Check out Matt's music blog at - O-Nation. Kid knows how to party.

Go Steelers! (had to throw that in with all this Browns talk. I feel yucky.)

17

2009-09-08T09:35:00.003-04:00

17 straight losing seasons - A new record!!

In all of professional American sport, nobody has lost as many consecutive seasons as our, Pittsburgh Pirates!

I was 10 years old the last time there was a winning season in the burgh. Sad.

Regardless of me never seeing a winning season since Zubaz pants were a cool fashion style......I'm sticking by my Pirates! Who's with me?!?!?!?! Wooooooo!

Pour one out for your homeboys today.

LETS GO BUCS!

Roommate Season Preview: The Buffalo Bills

2009-09-07T11:38:00.006-04:00

Sometimes as Steeler fans, we forget what it is like to wake up on Sunday mornings and fear that our favorite football team will lose. Living with 4 other ESPN employees I get to witness this fear every Sunday of the NFL season.

For the next three days, my roommates Christy and Matt, and my girlfriend Ashley will write 2009 NFL season previews for their favorite teams.

Christy - die hard Bills fan.

Ashley - die hard Eagles fan.

Matt - die hard Browns fan. (yeah, I live with a Browns fan. Despite his fandom, he is tremendous friend and human)

This will be followed up by Pat and I co-writing a "Mind Blowing -Super Ultimate Blog Post" previewing the defending champion, Pittsburgh Steelers.

BUT, first up is Christy. A lady who I have witnessed curse the existence of one, J.P Losman, and proudly wear a Brian Moorman (the punter, yeah.....the punter) jersey during game days. A fan of fans, Christy breaks down the Bills strengths and the strategical process of making Paul Posluszny, her husband. Enjoy.......

2009 Roomate Season Preview: The Buffalo Bills

Written by - Christy Nemi

Hi my name is Christy and I am a Buffalo Bills fan. At this point I should be saying those words at some kind of anonymous meeting or at the worst, be committed. But alas those words are the truth.

The day we signed TO, I was pretty pumped. I was like eating popcorn for every meal. But then he calls in sick to the last 4 preseason games because he stubbed his toe. This leaves Bills fans with a lot of question marks in the wide-out spot that was supposed to be our Savior (I am capitalizing savior because if you went to Buffalo any time after his signing, all the Polish folk in Cheektowaga were setting up shrines to him on top of their pierogi filled freezers.) Not to say I don’t think he is going to perform, I just have no idea what to expect. If Owens can take some of the pressure off of Lee Evans in the #2 receiver spot, we might actually have some success. Speaking of Evan’s, it took a little while last year for him and Trent Edwards to gain some chemistry. Lee only had three touchdowns last year and none after week seven.

In my opinion, Edwards might be the biggest question mark on the whole team. We have seen him perform in games where he seems to be capable of big things. However, after his concussion last year, we never really saw the same quarterback. If he stays healthy and somehow gets a foothold on the no-huddle offense (that I can see being scrapped at some point now that Turk the Jerk is out and Alex Van Pelt is calling plays) and starts making things happen in the red zone that involve actually scoring touchdowns then MAYBE, just maybe the Bills have a prayer.

This brings me to our little convict Mr. Marshawn Lynch. From him, I know what to expect. A healthy Lynch is good for similar numbers as last year. In fact, I am willing to be optimistic and say that he will have similar numbers despite his three game suspension. Fred Jackson will be a fine back up, although I was more comfortable with him splitting carries with Dominic Rhodes than being our main RB for the first three weeks of the season. We all know what a football genius Dick Jauron and the rest of the staff are so I am sure they have some logical reasons for cutting the guy who was supposed to be a viable option for us. Xavier Omon just isn’t going to cut it as our 3rd RB.

I was going to talk about Aaron Maybin being a HUGE pick out of Penn State. Then I think about Penn State and all I can do after that, is think about my future husband, Paul Posluszny. He is so dreamy.

So sorry my brain is mush right now and all I have for you us Aaron Schobel, Marcus Stroud blah blah blah Kawika Mitchelll blah blah blah better against the run, blah blah blah Leodis McKelvin, Terrance McGee and some other Mc guys blah blah blah tackle more, intercept the ball, do better.

Whew, I think I snapped out of it enough to talk about special teams...which are AWESOME! Brian Moorman is the best punter ever! I have his Jersey! But seriously, special teams is solid. Rian Lindell is good in the clutch (unless it is a last second field goal against the Browns) and Roscoe Parrish and Leodis McKelvin are excellent return men and should account for at least 3 non-offensive touchdowns this year.

My prediction? An optimistic 8-8. I mean T.O. has to be good for at least one more win from last year right? I say that extra win comes against the Pats during MNF after Tom Brady re-injures himself. And after the season the door hits T.O. on the way out. Dickie J. is fired and goes on to coach the newly reestablished Arena Football league with JP Losman as his starting QB. AND the Bills let Trenty stick it out another year and draft Tim Tebow.

****THE END****

Good work Nem. Personally, I think 8-8 is exactly how the Bills will finish. And not expecting T.O to ruin this team is like not expecting Christy Nemi to clog up the DVR with episodes of Kourtney and Kloe Take Miami.

Also, dudes, Nemi is single. Holla at a girl who likes Beer and Bratwurst - and be her Facebook friend...... (Christy Nemi)

Friday Happy Hour

2009-09-04T15:51:00.002-04:00

It's Friday - go take a nap.

Big things to come this weekend. Big big things!

If you want to follow along with a 16 team, fantasy draft, comprised of Seneca Valley High School's most prized alums, be here Sunday at 6:00pm.

50 NFL Predictions posted Sunday night/Monday morning - be pumped!

College Football Rant

2009-09-03T12:25:00.007-04:00

As many of you know, I am a proud alum, of THE Clarion University of Pennsylvania.

When people ask where I went to school, and I answer with CUP, they look at me as if I embarrassingly farted out loud without knowing it.

I immediately have to legitimize the school by rattling off a list of distinguished alums like Kurt Angle (ha), John Calipari (haha), and Pete Vuckovich (otherwise known as Clue Hayward of Major League fame - I have mentioned that 713 times on this blog).

Sooooooo, we aren't USC or Penn State.

And you know what, I think I like it better that way - especially during the College Football season.

If you ask me, I truly believe that its a positive to be from a "non Division 1 school" when it comes to watching/arguing about NCAA D-1 college football.

"Why, Steve? This really makes no sense at all."

Well let me list you 4 reasons why......

You ready?

4. I can like Tim Tebow because he is a good football player
- For the past 3 years, you have heard Tebow categorized under "douche" by many loyal college football fanboys. I disagree. To me, I would categorize him as the best college football player of our generation. Yeah, he may be one of the "nerdier" kids on the planet, but the dude can ball. He plays with intensity, is the leader of the best team in the nation, won a Heisman, and has been involved with 2 National Championship teams. He is a role model to all future football players.

All of the previous sentences have been copy and pasted from numerous articles written about Time Tebow (not really, but you get it, right?).

NO, he is not the "Tom Brady of College Football"...... Tebow doesn't get hurt when tackled.

My name is Steve Braband, and I am a fan of Tim Tebow.

.........of course these statements will all change if he is drafted by the Browns or Ravens.

3. My Saturday evenings are not ruined.
- If you are tailgating at 10:00am, trust me, I'll be there with burgers. If you want to open a 30 pack of Stroh's, while you are cooking eggs, I'll shotgun the first one with you. If you want to sneak those little bottles of booze (the ones you get on airplanes), in your socks on the way into the game, I can fit five.

What I'm trying to say is that - I am down for partying, tailgating, and celebrating College Football at the wee hours of a Saturday morning.....but not EVERY Saturday.

Have you ever tailgated at Penn State? I have, and it hurts. You start boozing at 9:00am and reach your ultimate drunkenness by kickoff (12 or 1pm) depending on the outcome - you go to "The Saloon" for post game activities (4pmish) which eventually leads to a stumbling Taco Bell trip, for a ten dollar purchase of the entire left side of the menu. By 8pm (the time when normal people go out on the town) you feel like a bag of donkey dongs; just wanting to put on sweatpants and watch the night games from your bed. While this is actually A LOT of fun, your body can't sustain this on a week to week basis.....unless you are John Daly (Lohan was the easy comparison).

2. I can like more than one team.
-There are 120 D-1 college football teams. Unlike NHL hockey, NFL football, and Major League Baseball, I am not locked into rooting for one team. I like Pitt. I like Penn State. I've been a fan of Florida. I've rooted for both Texas and Oklahoma. I think the Oregon program is funny. ANNNND - one of my favorite college football players of all time, Tim Biakabutuka, played at Michigan.

With a sport like college football, with so many great programs and players, I get more enjoyment out of the sport as a whole........ instead of just one team.

1. I don't have to get into the annoyingly on-going debate as to why my team should be in the BCS championship game.
- Really don't have to explain this one. Currently, what is the most annoying aspect of college football? Answer - there is no playoff. A playoff would not only make for a more clear-cut champion, it would also prevent us being verbally beaten to death by your friend who -"DEMANDS TEXAS TO BE IN THE BCS CHAMPIONSHIP GAME!!" Calm down buddy, you have no influence on the decision.......74 year old men who prefer the "wing-T," do.

I have been fortunate enough not to lose sleep over "margin of victory over ranked opponents", and my school's BCS ranking compared to the AP ranking.

Enough with the BCS foo foo.......I have more important stuff to worry about (see: Limas Sweed catching the ball, Kris Letang killing penalties.....and the Pirates).

****Rant Ended****

That's it, but while we are on the subject, I do like Boise States bright blue field.

The 2009 College football season begins tonight (on ESPN at 7:00pm). Enjoy it!

ps: Yes, the above picture is what the "Golden Eagle" mascot looked like when I went to school there. The costume was made out of the same material as one of those bouncy castles and it used to scare little children, and the hippies.

"ClariON........ ClariON...... something something ......ClariON" - That was our fight song as well as I can remember it.

Go Golden Eagles!

Tuesdays With Steve

2009-09-01T14:36:00.005-04:00

It's September. You realize the Steelers kickoff in nine days and the Pens raise a banner in a month?

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh man!

Deep Thoughts
Over the weekend, I was privleged enough to spend my hard earned money, on a matinee screening of Inglorious Basterds. Just like every other movie geek out there, I went from six to midnight following the conclusion of this film.

While some considerded Tarantino to be a GOD before this movie even came out, I belive this to be his best work. Brad Pitt was unreal, the "bad guy" Christopher Waltz. is going to win an Oscar, and Eli Roth's Ted Williams inpersanation was spot on......kind of.

Yeah this is a war movie with machine guns, bar shoot outs, and scalpings of the head but, there was a timelined dialogue (rarely found in QT movies) that kept you on the edge of your seat the entire time.

I highly recommended this movie and if you ask poiletly, I will give you 10 dollars to go see it.

The above paragraphs were brought to you by - 'Every Movie Critic Cliche In The Book."

Links

- I really need to find my "Kasparitis Kruncher" T-Shirt for this collection (PSAMP)

- We all should continue to support Raise The Jolly Roger and WHYGAVS because no matter how god AWFUL the Pirates are, they will be writing about them. Better men than all of us.

- A Titans midget in a Bikini and Myron Cope peeing on Keith Bulluck = I don't know, but I LIKE IT! (OFTOT)

- I think we are all rooting for Sweeeeeeeeeeeeed this year (XFL MVP)

- Don't want to shell out 65 bucks for Mayweather - Marquez......head to your local Cinema!! (ESPN)

- This needs to be done for every Steelers home game (Blog N' Gold)

- Sheetz > WaWa. No diggity, no doubt (Sean's Ramblings)

- Say it aint so, Teen Wolf........say it aint so......(Warming Glow)

- I love my Pizza, but there is no way I would eat half of these (Yahoo)

- People are stupid (Yahoo, again)

- Top Ten things you never thought you would say - # 6 "Ron Artest sings Celine Dion" (SportingNews)

- Just Twittered this - You can file this under AHHH HAHAHAHAHAHA (Cincy Inquirer)

Obligatory Video To Break Up The Sections

I found this to be unbeliveably hillarious -

Final Thought

I honestly truly believe the Pittsburgh Steelers will repeat as Super Bowl champions. All fan bias aside.

Live fantasy draft blog on Sunday - 50 NFL predictions (similar to last year, but funny) on Monday.

Get yo mind right.

OK, We Accept Soccer Now

2009-09-01T12:42:00.004-04:00

Every major sport has had it's own jaw dropping, vomit inducing, injury -

Hockey has Clint Malarchucks skate to the neck.

Basketball has the Rudy Tomjanovich punch.

Baseball has numerous fastballs to the head, and of course...... Kendall's Ankle. (Don't look at that if you are eating)

And....

Football has Joe Theisman's broken leg.

Now, Soccer has this guy - Axel Witsel.

Awesome name, brutal injury.

This comes from the Belgum soccer league, where apparently, Col. Guile "Super Kicks" are the norm.

This brings the "List of Heroes" to -

1. Gorkys Hernandez

2. Mike Tomlin

3. Axel Witsel

Look for numerous Axel Witsel posts in the near future.

Just..................Awesome.

2009-09-01T10:37:00.002-04:00

No words needed.

Hat tip to every other website/facebook user who posted this. If you haven't seen this already, you are slow like me.

Here we go!

It never gets old......

Friday Happy Hour

2009-08-28T15:24:00.002-04:00

I would have done many things to gain admittance to this party -

Remember kids, the Pittsburgh Steelers are the defending champions (There's not much talk about that......)

NFL Season = 13 days away.

Here we go.....

Have a great weekend! When Anquan Boldin gets drafted right before you were going to select him in your fantasy draft - try not to punch a baby.

If I Had Money

2009-08-28T11:40:00.009-04:00

After taking a moment not worrying about who will return kicks and who will be the back-up left guard for the Steelers, I read a sub par post by my sub par friend, Ashley Wynkoop. (Post here)

Ashley is a decent dude(t) who has been attempting to blog every day, for a year. This particular post inspired a new (sub par) post for this here blog.

Every time I fly, I see this item in my SkyMall magazine. I always say to myself "Self, if you won the lottery, this would be the first thing you would buy." Just because I am a non-conformist, this would honestly be my first purchase upon winning MILLIONS!!!!!!! -

A Voice Activated R2-D2

This motorized replica of the headstrong little "droid" from the iconic Star Wars films responds to voice commands, navigates rooms and hallways, and makes any home feel like it has been transported to a galaxy far, far away.
R2 obeys more than 40 voice commands ("Turn around!" "Move forward two units!") and he plays games like tag, using an infrared sensor to search for people in a room. His sensor helps him follow behind you, or it can be set to detect motion, turning R2 into a room sentry that sounds an alarm when a secured area is invaded. R2's lights, swiveling dome top, and distinctive happy and sad sounds faithfully mimic the real thing, right down to his occasional "bad mood." (A simple command of, "R2, behave yourself!" snaps him out of it.) R2 can also replay sounds and dialog from Star Wars movies, answer yes-or-no questions, and dance while playing the famed cantina music. Requires four AA batteries and four D batteries. Minor assembly required.

Screw Escalades and Ferrari's - I want a real robot from Star Wars.

How could you NOT want that?

Having a bad day? Tell me seeing R2's horizontal shake and making the happy "beeeeep beeeeep bleep bleep bleep" noise, wouldn't cheer you up!!?!?!

When was the last time you played a game of tag.......with R2D2?!!!?!

The dog would love it.

Skip the phone bill this month, and buy this anyways? Done deal.

Sometimes, not talking about sports (and being a complete geek), is a good thing...........

FANTASY FOOTBALL AHHHH!!!!!!!!!

2009-08-27T09:22:00.000-04:00

Please hide your erection, I know you have a fantasy football draft this weekend.

Every year, we as football fans, gather our 12-14 closest buddies and have our annual "FANTAAAAAASSSSSSY FOOTBALL DRAFT!!!!!!"

Or as I like to call it, "nerdfest."

Everyone has their "draft kits" and rankings that are not allowed to be viewed by league opponents/your friends. We study for hours and waste numerous time at our actual jobs, to find the correct formula to drafting a championship fantasy squad. It's awesome.........kind of.

While I love fantasy football as much as the next guy, some czar's of the waiver wire take it way too seriously.

Last year, I chronicled (in some post that I can't find right now) a time when I witnessed a man frantically talking about Ronnie Brown on his cell phone, while his son was running wild in a Wal-Mart parking lot. The kid was two unsupervised steps away, from becoming the hood ornament on a 2008 Toyota Tundra. I still feel that dude would have been more upset that he didn't start Ronnie Brown.

The point being, fantasy football is fun, a lot of fun, but it isn't the focus of your every day life. You shouldn't get mad if you lose. Think about it, fantasy (meaning: not real) losses, really should not ruin your day. If you ever get upset to the point where you are yelling obscenities at Oakland Raiders receivers for not catching JaMarcus Russell passes, you need to have a Sierra Mist and chill OUT.

Also, this year, please refrain from discussing your fantasy team with friends, co-workers, family members, and random strangers at the bar - they really could care less.

While I just ripped on the Boogers of the Fantasy Football world. I myself, have two strict rules I follow while drafting. Follow these rules and you could be as great as I.......

1. No New England Patriots.

- I don't care how many touchdowns Brady throws to Moss - neither will dawn a fake jersey for my fake team - ever. I have stood by this rule ever since 2001, when the Patroits snooched an AFC Championship from the Steelers. I don't have my statistics since this rule was implemented (because I have a girlfriend and go outside to do activities), but I don't feel like I am missing out on Brady's numbers.....and I am always in the top 5 of my league. Google it.

Note: This also applies to members of the New York Yankees, during Fantasy Baseball season.

2. No Browns, Bengals, or Ravens.

- Really not missing out on anything here. Refraining from drafting Brady Quinn, Willis McGahee, and or, Carson Palmer, will drastically improve your chances of winning your league. Trust me on this one. Thinking about drafting Jamal Lewis as a late round steal? If so, I'd suggest you use that 50 dollar league fee to buy Season 5 of LOST on DVD. No real joke there, its just a really good show and a better financial decision.

I follow these two rules to keep my loyalty to a REAL team - The Pittsburgh Steelers. Rooting for any member of those camera trolling New England Patriots should be a legitimate infraction to having your Steeler Nation card, revoked.

The Steelers play the Browns, Bengals, and Ravens, twice. To enjoy all 6 of those games, I do not select members of those teams.

This way I completely avoid any questions of loyalty, to my Stillers.......and sir, that is a good thing.

Other than those rules, every year is a crap-shoot.

You know some dummy in your league is going to draft David Garrard, four rounds before he is supposed to go. You can't plan your picks - just go with the flow.

Most importantly have fun. HAVE. FUN.

It's not the end of the world if you didn't start DeAngelo Williams and he runs for 4 TD's. Your life will be OK, and maybe one day.......you will meet a girl......and talk to her.

Go FOOTBALL!

The Best Thing About The 2009 Pittsburgh Pirates

2009-08-26T09:39:00.002-04:00

This picture -

Pirates beat the Phillies on an Andrew McCutchen Walk-Off (Post-Gazette)

Now that this is taken care of, I now return you to your regularly scheduled Steelers Preseason coverage.

Go Cutch!

Boxing Is Still Awesome

2009-08-23T20:42:00.004-04:00

Paulie Malignaggi lost to Juan Diaz, Saturday night, by a unanimous decision. Fast foward to the 3:30 mark for his unreal reaction.

In defense of Paulie, I watched the entire fight and I thought he had won. But what do I know?

Also, he dropped weight to face Diaz, and agreed to fight in Diaz's home town of Houston, knowing that that the deck was stacked against him.

This has to go down as one of the top 5 post game (match) flip outs of all time. This is comparable to T.O saying the NFL is "sh!t." Amazing stuff.

He was definitely speaking in the heat of the moment, and probably regrets comparing his sport to feces, but this fight was the reason WHY boxing is awesome.

This also answers the age old question - "What happend to Vinny Delpino from Doogie Howser??"

Boxing > MMA

Talkin' Steelers

2009-08-22T16:18:00.003-04:00

Yinz guys want to talk to Steelers on the Internet? Do ya? Do ya?

I can see you jumping through your living room window in excitement.

Today at 6:30pm I will be running a live podcast on Blog Talk Radio discussing everything and anything Pittsburgh Steelers as a lead up to Preseason Game #2 against the Washington Redskins.

Here is the link to the podcast page (Steve is Alive Podcast)

You can call in and talk at 347-857-2968.

OR...... you can just listen to me ramble about Dennis Dixon, in my bedroom.

Either way it should be a pants party!

Feedback is required. So, quit doing irrelevant things and holla at a Caucasian.

Go Steelers.

We Need To Start a Petition

2009-08-22T11:11:00.004-04:00

I have yet to see the final score of the Pirates game last night, and I don't even know who they played.

That is not important at this stage in the season. The main focus for our battling Buccos is to make sure they incorporate the above jerseys into their "jersey rotation."

(They wore these glorious yellow beauties in last night's game)

Make it a third jersey, wear it on every Saturday and Sunday home game - whatever it is, this has to happen.

The last time the Pirates won a World Series, what uni's did they sport?

Yep, that's right.

While we are on it, stirrups need to make a comeback as well.

To me this a no brainer.

Disagreement on this topic is not an option. The Pirates would win 15 - 20 more games a season by just dawning the "beehive" look.

I will be starting a petition and you will sign it.

Is anyone close buddies with Frank Coonley?

Friday Happy Hour

2009-08-21T15:37:00.003-04:00

From a website a recently discovered "5 Second Films"

Good way to pass a minute of your day - watch a few films. Funny stuff.

Back to sports -

Good thing the Steelers don't need to dick around like this during preseason games.

OchoCinco has lots of talent, but this is Exhibt 1,876 why the Bengals will never be in the same class as the Steelers.

The kicker is the kicker, and the wide receiver is the wide receiver.

Mailed In

2009-08-21T15:13:00.003-04:00

Let's be frank ("Can I still be Garth?") - I have pretty much mailed it in for the majority of August.

Blogging is tough (chalk that up as the funniest thing I have said here). I've got stuff to do, man.

Between the Steelers/NFL season beginning, the Pirates losing season ending, the new season of Curb and Always Sunny, college football, PPV Boxing, and my podcast - I have numerous things to talk about in the days to come. So, be excited damnit.

This isn't one of those "blog mission statements." I have done that before. This is just me acknowledging my lack of production over the past month.

FYI - Tomorrow I am doing a Steelers Pre-Game show podcast. Details to follow in a separate post. Want to talk about the Steelers with me? You can!

Belated

2009-08-20T12:07:00.003-04:00

That's a Steelers cake. Neat.

Oops - yesterday was this blogs birthday. What kind of parent am I?

One year and 251 posts. That's about as impressive as beating the Legend of Zelda.

So what the piss have I done this year? -

1. The SC commercials concluded. Tear.

2. The beginning of the curse (read the last sentence in that post, weird...)

3. A trip to Cleveland......for a Browns game......I really did that?

4. A Bruins-Pens game in Boston. (Probably my favorite post)

5. I was named as the #49th most memorable TV Moment of 2008!! (out of 50)

6. Steelers went to the Super Bowl..........and won.

7. I reviewed my NFL predictions from the beginning of the year. I should be on TV or something....

8. My girlfriend and I fist fought through the Pens - Flyers series.

9. My initial reaction was all over the place..........but the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup!

10. Nothing else really happened or mattered after that.......

This was a nice look back at the past year of mediocrity at Steve Is Alive.

Join us next year as we talk about how the Pens and Steelers repeated, the Pirates trade PNC Park to Montreal for Olympic Stadium, and details on how I got to star along side Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore 2.

Send me gifts, jerks.

Tuesdays With Steve

2009-08-18T11:42:00.005-04:00

The only thing awesome about the Vikings, is that guy. I'd like to see him at church.

Deep Thoughts
Dont come here for Brett Favre news.

In fact, don't come here for any news. I don't dabble in that. I just dick around on a computer.

Back in the day, I stated that the only non-Steelers jersey I would buy, would be a Brett Favre jersey. Just based on his style of play and domination of the late 90's. Now, I'd rather have a "He Hate Me" jersey than a Brett Favre jersey.

Actually, a He Hate Me jersey would probably get me into a rap video........ cool.

(If you aren't in front of a TV, Radio, Sports Web Page, Twitter, and or a local yahoo at the bar.......Brett Favre is signing with the Vikings today.)

So Favre's potential signing means that your sports television viewing will be flooded with old number four's, loose skin and old balls, for the next few weeks. Enjoy.

I for one, am more concerned with the careers of Sage Rosenfels, Tavaris Jackson, and John David Booty. The Vikes are basically saying, "ahhhhh you guys aren't too good, soooooooooo, we are going to go force this old dude out of retirement, and give him your job. OK? We still want you to be apart of this team, though. Oh, and John, you are going to have to change your number and join the practice squad. K?"

Brutal. I'd rather work for Trump.

Prediction - Vikes go 9-7 and miss the playoffs.

Links

- The BEST coverage of Brett Favre's REAL decision (Sports Pickle)

- I don't understand this video, but Mike Wallace(Steelers rookie) is in it. So I approve. (OFTOT) Check out the rest of OFTOT, Cotter is making Training Camp coverage his bitch.

- Shaq VS Big Ben TONIGHT! I'm watchin' (Mondesishouse)

- Excellent "gambling and the NFL" piece (PSAMP)

- Cool Steelers preview (CBS Sportsline)

- Hey! The Pirates won, it counted in the standings, and everything.......(RTJR)

- Even former Pirates are now cursed. Nate McLouth on the DL (Braves.com)

- Boom. ESPN Obudsman. Good read. (ESPN.com)

- 25 Things We Miss From Basketball (SI)

- Juan Diaz VS. Paulie Malignaggi, Saturday night (HBO Boxing)

- Apparently, District 9 is sick (Film Drunk)

- Watch the Jamie Lynn Sigler interview at the bottom. Why is that dude on TV? "Why Is That Dude on TV??" miiiiiiiiight become a feature, sounds catchy. - (SI - Hot Clicks)

Yeah, I just linked a link dump. So.

Obilgatory Video to Break Up The Sections

Christian Okoye > Bo Jackson in Tecmo. Try and disagree with that statement after you watch this run:

Now ask yourself...... "what else could I have been doing in the last 2 minutes and 8 seconds?"

Final Thought

The 2009 NFL season is going to be very interesting.

Final Final Thought

With the returns of Vick, Favre, and Brady.........the depth of the returning champion Pittsburgh Steelers, is flying extremely under the radar. And that my friends, is a really good thing.

Steelers, go.

Back!

2009-08-14T10:48:00.006-04:00

Now that the reigning champs have taken the field, NFL football is officially back.

Forget Brady being back, Flacco's improvement in sophomore campaign, the new look Jets D........the Pittsburgh Steelers ARE the team to beat in 2009.

Not because they made key off season moves, or because they drafted well, just mainly because they are STILL the world champs.

Sorry, I had to make that known.

Here are a few things that stood out from the 20-10 preseason victory, over the Arizona Cardinals -

1. After all the firm statements that Limas Sweed was going to have a big year, #14 went out and balled. 2 huge catches - one was overthrown, over the middle, that he went up, grabbed, and came down between two defenders. The other was a deep, 45 yard bomb, from Chuck Batch down the sideline. Limas reached out like a ten year vet and hauled that puppy in. Big things expected. (Yeah, he dropped a 1st down catch, no worries).

2. If Ziggy Hood keeps doing that sack dance, he will slowly become my favorite Steeler.

3. Ben miss threw a couple passes, but his "escapeability" (if you ask me, that's still not a word) was in mid-season form.

4. Tyler Palko is on the Cardinals? Does Arizona management know that there are capable football players outside of PA?

5. Mike Wallace = raw, but talented. Excited.

6. Watching William Gay and Lawrence Timmons on every down this year will be highly entertaining. Both play FAST and physical.

7. Issac Redman scores 2 touchdowns last night after rumblings of him being a "red zone beast." I still contend that it will be extremely tough for him to make the squad. Practice squad? Flipmode squad?

8. Mike Tomlin could get you fired up for Church.

9. Seeing Bryant McFadden in a Cardinals jersey was not pleasant but I wish him that best. Heck of a player.

10. Lots of flashbacks to the best game I have ever seen in person, Super Bowl 43. It's hard to have a dislike for the Cardinals, some good dudes on that squad.

11. You still can't run on the Steelers D.

The last thing being that, as I am in Pittsburgh this weekend, I was proud and highly impressed that the Steeler Nation came out in full force last night. Walking over the bridge, drinking at the bars, yelling in the parking lots, chanting after the game - you would think we just beat the Ravens on Monday Night to win the AFC North.

(Sidenote: Saw rookie Frank Summers in the new North Side Casino, following the conclusion of the game. When I yelled "Frank the Tank", Mr. Summers looked out in fear as he encountered his first overbearing Steelers fan......fueled by a couple I.C. Lights.)

Pittsburgh looks glorious.

Pictures to come. Ashley had her first Primanti's and I.C. Light, annnnnnnnnnnnd she dipped her feet into the Allegheny River. She has been officially baptised as the Phillyness has been cleansed from her body. I'll get in trouble for that last sentence.

Go Steelers.

Tuesdays With Steve

2009-08-11T12:19:00.003-04:00

Whats up boogers?

How about dem Buccos? I'd rather go see Juila & Juila, while listening to a Jonas Brothers album, than watch the Pirates bullpen, pitch.

Lot of business going down today. I am leaving for Pittsburgh (again) on Thursday, so in the meantime.......enjoy the links listed below. Congratulations to Russell Bergstresser and Leigh Richardson will join their hands in marriage on Saturday.

I am looking forward to the stuffed chicken.

ps: one year ago today, the SC Commercials ended. Oh happy day.

pps: The podcast is about to get big, real big. I know I keep promising this, but fo realz yo...

ppps: Steeler tailgate for the 1st preseason game?! Anyone? Anyone? Contact me.

paulpierce: Remember, the bet Ashley and I made (Flyers vs Pens)?? She will be paying up on Thursday! Pics to come!

paulsimon: Go Steelers!

Links
- Peter King does a video tour of Steelers Training Camp. Semi cool interview with Sant (SI)

- I perfer, Mort at Steelers camp. (ESPN.COM)

- A training camp diary from Cotter. Check out OFTOT on a daily basis. Dude, is covering Training Camp like Ike Taylor covers Chad OchoCinco......... (OFTOT)

- While most of us have moved on to Steelers Training Camp, RTJR is still blogging their balls off about the Pirates. A good look at how our old buddies are doing - (RTJR)

- PITT's new jerseys look dorky.....I mean, sharp (Mondesishouse)

- "A Manning Family Christmas" - coming to a theater near you (SportsPickle)

- A burned Terrible Towel turns into something fun and exciting, watch (PSAMP)

- Alternate Full House Opening (Tosh.0)

- Max Talbot's fathers lawn is awesome (HHOF)

- I have said this numerous times, watch THREE SHEETS (FLN)

Hey guess what starts soon.....

FOOTBALL!!!!! WOOOOOOO!

Hard Knocks = Nothing

2009-08-10T16:47:00.003-04:00

Congratulations, Bungles, you have ruined your season before it has begun.

I hope you all have witnessed an episode of HBO's "Hard Knocks", it really is riveting television. If you haven't seen an episode, let me give you a quick history of this television program.

For 6 weeks, HBO gives an insiders perspective of an NFL training camp. From the front office musings to the undrafted rookies trying to make the squad, Hard Knocks covers it all. This may be my favorite moment.

The 2009 edition will focus on the often troubled, Cincy Bungles. Yeah, that's exactly what the Bungles need, another distraction. Never mind the fact that 46% of their squad has been arrested (not based on fact) or that their "star' wide receiver prefers U-Stream rather than film sessions.........the Cincinnati Bengals won four games last year. Four.

I'm no gridiron mastermind, but to me, inviting in a 50-man-film-crew, to film your every move and personnel decision, isn't the best way to produce more victories. Maybe that's just me.......

But for reference and legitimacy sake, let us take a small gander at how other teams fared while being the center of the Hard Knocks documentaries, shall we:

2001 - Baltimore Ravens
- went 10-6, lost to Steelers in Divisional round of Playoffs. The lone exception. (The Looooooone Raaaaaaaaaaaaaangers!!!!!)

2002- Dallas Cowboys
- 5-11 4th in NFC East. Dave Campo fired at seasons end.

2004 -Jacksonville Jaguars (not really a HBO "Hard Knocks" but NFL Films followed thier entire training camp)
- 9-7 - did not make the playoffs.

2007 - Kansas City Chiefs
- 4-12 third in AFC West. Damon Huard was one of the focal points. Damon Huard.

2008- Dallas Cowboys
-9-7 third in NFC East. T.O, Pac-Man, Tank Johnson, Tony Romo, and Todd Lowber.

So by those calculations, The Bengals will go 3-13 and Carson Palmer will fist fight OchoCinco by seasons end.

Maybe - this post = nothing?!?!

I really am looking forward to Hard Knocks........and I really am looking forward to watching the Steelers beat the Bengals.....twice.

Tune in, it should be a doozy.

/using the word "doozy" on this site more.