Friday, January 8, 2010

The Return Of The Greatest

If you don't know, now you know (link).

The greatest video game of all time is making it's return to the "Wii" variety of Nintendo gaming systems. NBA JAM is back, baby!!!!

"Heeeeeeeeeeeee's heating up!!"

"Heeeeeee's on FIRE!!!"


Without NBA JAM, these phrases would not be part of our everyday lives. How else would I be able to display my excitement at the grocery store? "Buy one, get one on Tostitos Queso!?!? BOOOOOM Shaka Laka!!!"

If you never played NBA Jam for SuperNES, I want you to discontinue your subscription of Steve-Is-Alive. Seriously, you can keep your $97.95.

Side note: You can credit Clifford The Big Red Dog, wiffleball, Highlights Magazine, and NBA Jam for shaping me into the mature grown man I am today.

The re-release of NBA Jam has got me all gitty inside and has made me start to budget my coins for a Wii system. And yes, this is exactly what the geniuses at Nintendo want to hear. Bringing back such games as Tyson's Punch Out, Super Mario, and now, NBA Jam will only bring super nerds who had no friends in the 90's (like myself), back to the Nintendo world. I acknowledge this and will abide by Nintendo's wishes just like the drooling troll that I am. As soon as the piggy bank is to Best Buy, I go.

And let the record show, even with updated rosters of today's players like LeBron, Kobe, and Dwyane team, and I mean NO TEAM will be better than the original Houston Rockets squad of Hakeem Olajuwon and Vernon Maxwell. What do I base that on, you ask?!? How about my ten year dominance over my brother Eric and any and all challengers..... with only THAT Houston Rockets team.

Olajuwon would work the post on offense and defense - no shot would get past him. V.Max would set up in the corners and drain three's in your face. It's a winning combination that can't be beat. It's science really.

If there is a way to have The Dream and Maxwell face LeBron and Shaq (or Kobe and Gasol), I'll put money on a Houston Rockets victory. Mark it down.

So, when this game graces video game stores with its presence, be sure to give me a call, order some pizza and come on over - the door will be open. We got ourselves a daily activity that will make our girlfriends seek new prospects!

I'm so excited, I want to break something.......


Grumpy said...

I bet I can kick your ass at the original Mario Bros.

Eric said...

I remember Dad constantly setting up Mark Price for the three in the corner, also Shawn Kemp and Detlef Schrempf were not to be trifled with.


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