Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday Night Fullback

Jon Witman, what a human. I'd start him in the backfield tomorrow.

Week 3 just ended and its a good thing we know that the Bengals will be playing the Broncos in the AFC Championship game. Book your plane tickets, it's going to be a doozy.

Sarcasm noted, yes?

Everyone needs to chill out crowning their favorite team, Super Bowl 44 champs. The season is young and we have plenty of time for teams to poop the bed.

Don't talk to me about the Steelers record until Week 9, OK? In the meantime, check the recap of Steelers - Bengals over on OFTOT, dominated by Cotter and I.

Let's dance with these un-original rankings based on teams records. Can you say - "contradiction blog??"

Ha. Go Steelers.

Week #3 Monday Night Fullback

32. St Louis Rams 0-3
Yo, Kyle Boller is their backup and will probably be under center the next few weeks. Ouch. I thought Kyle Boller was suspended for being a detriment to the league and his family.

31. Cleveland Browns 0-3
Hahahahahahahahaha........the Browns......ahhhhhh hahahahahahaa.

30. Tampa Bay Buccaners 0-3
Leftwich out. Josh Johnson in. That's like replacing a Ramen Noodles with Easy Mac.

29. Kansas City Chiefs 0-3
My dog could tell you the Chiefs are not a good football team. He reads the box scores.

28. Carolina Panthers 0-2*
You just intercepted Jake Delhomme.

27. Miami Dolphins 0-3
Sunday starts the beginning of the Chad Henne era. Or I mean.....the "We Should Draft Tebow" era.

26. Washington Redskins 1-2
Lost to the Lions = fail. Don't come here for bailout jokes.

25. Detroit Lions 1-2
They won! They won! The Lions won! The Lions won!

24. Oakland Raiders 1-2
Click this link.

23. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-2
Really couldn't tell you why this team is bad. No o-line? No defense? Torry Holt is number one wide-out? Ill go with last week's comment - no Natrone Means!

22. Tennessee Titans 0-3
Will we be seeing the return of Vince Young?? Looks like LenDale needs to get back on the patron. Fatty.....

21. Houston Texans 1-2
One week they look like a playoff team, the next week they lose to the Jaguars.........

20. Seattle Seahawks 1-2
The green Power Ranger, the 1988 Hartford Whalers, and Luigi all thought those jerseys were ugly.

19. Arizona Cardinals 1-2

18. Buffalo Bills 1-2
I was in favor of TO's comments after yesterdays game. Buffalo reporters are not very subtle - nice try.

17. Chicago Bears 2-1
Still believe Cutler will screw up their season somehow. Johnny Knox was better in Jackass 2 when he dressed up as the old guy and let his fake balls hang out of his shorts.

16. Dallas Cowboys 1-1*
Currently losing to the Panthers as I type this. Hope they do. Nice stadium, jagoffs.

15. Cincinnati Bengals 2-1
Not. Good.

14. Green Bay Packers 2-1
Packers got their buddy Fav-rah on Monday Night next week. Don't turn on a TV if you don't want to hear about it.

13. Atlanta Falcons 2-1
Falcons can't play outdoors. They looked out of their element in New England. Kind of like when I wear my Polamalu jersey in West Hartford......

12. San Diego Chargers 2-1
Up against our Steelers this week - not scared. Really though, LaDanian Tomlinson was an awesome fantasy pick.

11. San Francisco 49ers 2-1
Frank Gore could miss some time. Issac Bruce is their next offensive threat. Yikes......

10. Pittsburgh Steelers 1-2
Can't keep them out of the top ten. What did you expect. One tackle here, another tackle there and the Steelers would be numero uno in my rankings. Still wouldn't mean anything....

9. Denver Broncos 3-0
Mike Shannahan is doing a great job with......wait.....what.....he got fired?

8. New England Patriots 2-1
Tom Brady is yelling at receivers. Makes you wonder what kind of treatment Giselle is receiving......

7. Philadelphia Eagles 2-1
McNabb returns after the bye week. Andy Reid says "when does the McRib come back?"

6. Minnesota Vikings 3-0
Greg Lewis makes Brett Favre look like Brett Favre. Good for him.

5. New York Jets 3-0
Remember Alan Faneca? Dude is still playing at high level blocking for Sanchez and the upstart Jets.

4. Baltimore Ravens 3-0
Joe Flacco is throwing bombs and the combo over Rice & McGahee is legit. We'll still beat them in both match ups. Go Steelers.

3.New Orleans Saints 3-0
Drew Brees just scored with your sister. Hot damn, he is good.

2. New York Giants 3-0
On a serious note, good to see Osi Umenyiora on the field and playing at a high level. Great guy.

1. Indianapolis Colts 3-0
Best looking team in the NFL right now. Really, Pierre Garcon is quite the dresser.

The End.

Thinking about doing this Tuesday morning as the new Tuesdays With Steve. Better Idea? Or do you not care?

Have ever told you guys that I love you? Well, I do.


On a happy Steelers note. Reader and college chum, Pat Chovan passes along this picture from a Steelers Aruba.

Nationwide homey.

That is really cool. We're everywhere!!!

Bring on the Chargers! HERE WE GO!


patchovan said...

Entertaining post, Steve.

A few observations from the weekend:

1. Limas Sweed truly has a great pair of hands on him.

2. Saint Tebow is actually a human.

3. You're right, Johnny Knox was much funnier in Jackass...


Grumpy said...

I still say the Ravens have only beaten one above average team. Beating the Chiefs and Browns shouldn't count.

Matt said...

san fran deserves to be in the top ten. they got favred last week, thats all

also my new bar "Contradictions" in the strip will feature a 90s music dance party every wednesday featuring DJ Smacky! ladies drink free 730 - 930! 5 dollar Patrone 9-11! Don't miss out!


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