NFL 2008 Season Preview: 50 Facts I think might be true.

I want to tell you that these are my "expert" picks and that I have watched "numerous amounts of game film" to bring you these guaranteed LOCKS for the 2008 NFL Season. But I cant, if I did, I would be a liar. All I have done is watched SportsCenter AM LIVE from 9am to 3pm Monday through Friday starting on August 11th, until then........ whoops sorry, mental lapse.


Instead of doing the normal division by division picks and then breaking down the playoffs, I will give you 50 "facts", that I "think" will happen. You decipher these and believe what you what. But I am telling you......


#50 - Chiefs rookie Glenn Dorsey will break Tom Brady's leg in Week 1 and Brady will be forced to have season ending surgery. Gisele Bündchen will then break up with him, he will lose his Stetson cologne commercial deal, the Patriots will go 2-14, Brady never recovers, he is forced to become a color commentator...where he fails, he then goes bankrupt, loses everything he has, accepts a deal to be on the Surreal Life, Mark Cooper from "Hanging with Mr Cooper" punches him in the face for eating all the bread, he is kicked out of the house, (the girl who played Lisa Turtle on Saved by the Bell cries) , and then finally he tries to comeback to the NFL, signs a deal with the Cleveland Browns, throws five interceptions in his first game.....everyone forgets he ever existed and he never makes the hall of fame. HA.


#49 - Whenever defenses are sitting in a "zone" in the Nickel or Dime packages and the Washington Redskins run Trips Left Z-Y Renegade Post Fling Retro Eight Slant Out, they usually hit a nice 10 yard out-route to Antwaan Randle El.


#48- Someone from the Cincinnati Bengals will be suspended before the season ends.


#47 - More people will attend "Madden Bowl 09" than the Cardinals - 49ers Week 1 match-up.


#46 - Brett Favre will just be Brett Favre.


#45 - Mario Williams will continue to prove to all the "haters" out there, that he was a better number 1 pick than Reggie Bush would have been.


#44 - Those who drafted Adrian Peterson before LT (in fantasy football) will regret that decision by Week 3.


#43 - Jessica Simpson will never, and has never, had any affect on the outcome of a National Football League regular season or playoff game.


#42 - CBS Announcer Gus Johnson will yell. A lot.


#41 - Edgerrin James will finally have a good year for the Arizona Cardinals. The Cardinals just won't have a good a year for Arizona.


#40 - The Steelers will run through the proclaimed "toughest schedule in the NFL" to win the AFC North Division.


#39 - 39....is the number of Patriots Running Back Laurence Maroney. Which not coincidentally, is the maximum amount of yards he will rush for in a single game this year.


#38 - The Miami Dolphins will win more games, but no more than 5.


#37 - One of the Dolphins wins will be against...yes....The New England Patriots. Week 12.


#36 - The hardest division in football will be the AFC South, Colts, Jags, Texans, Titans.....not really going out on a limb on that one Steve.


#35 - At one point in time you will see Sage Rosenfels as a starting Quarterback in your fantasy league.


#34 - Despite early suspensions, Steve Smith and Brandon Marshall will make the Pro Bowl and be in the top five in receiving throughout the year.


#33 - I will retract statement number thirty-four by Week 6.


#32 - Despite being retired, Dick Vermeil will cry....


#31 - Adam Jones will make his triumphant return to............ the gentleman's club.


#30 - Someone will break Antonio Cromartie's record 109 yard touchdown return, by returning a kickoff 110 yards for SIX!!


#29 - This years fantasy version of Ryan Grant will be DeAngelo Williams.


#28 - This years fantasy version of Adrian Peterson WONT BE, Darren McFadden or Jonathan Stewart.


#27 - I won't be writing a mid-season version of "50 Facts I think might be true"


#26- The Steelers will beat the Cowboys, Patriots, Chargers and Giants.


#25 - But they will lose one of their games against the Bengals.


#24 - Bill Belichick will wear a hoody with full length sleeves once the weather turns. I have big money on this.


#23 - Man crush aside, I truly believe Plaxico Burress will have more recieving yards than Randy Moss.


#22 - Once the season is over, the Atlanta Falcons will be on the clock.


#21 - Rumors as to which team Bill Cowher will be coaching in 09 will start around Week 11.


#20 - Desean Jackson will win at least two games on kickoff returns for the Eagles.


#19 - Warren Sapp won't win Dancing with the Stars.


#18 - JaMarcus Russell and Darren McFadden will give the Raider fans something to be happy about for next year. But thats it.


#17 - Michael Vick leads his team to a huge come from behind victory over "the guards", and then they will make a movie about it.


#16 - The Week 17 matchup between the Panthers and Saints will determine the NFC South champion.


#15 - The first "Postgame Press Confrence Tirade" will belong to Herm Edwards.


#14 - Wade Phillips and Norv Turner will continue thier streaks as the "most boring coaches" in the NFL.


#13 - I will try to think of something positive to write about the Patriots before the season ends.


#12 - Peyton Manning will pass for more yards and touchdowns than Tom Brady.


#11 - Usain Bolt will not suite up for any NFL team.


#10 - Shawne Merriman will ruin his career if he plays on his injured knee.


#9 - The New York Giants will not repeat as Super Bowl Champions, not breaking any limbs on this one either.


#8 - Brett Favre WON'T take the Jets to the playoffs.


#7 - Saints, Packers, Cowboys, Seahawks, Lions, and Giants will represent the NFC in the Playoffs


#6 - Colts, Patriots, Steelers, Chargers, Jaguars, and the Browns will represent the AFC in the playoffs.


#5 - Number six counts as my "one positive thing to say" about the Patriots this year.

#4 - It will be Steelers - Cowboys in the Super Bowl

#3 - Your Super Bowl 43 Champions will be the...... Pittsburgh Steelers

#2 - I probably just lost all of my 12 readers.

#1 - I will retire from blogging....but then un-retire......but then stay retired...then ESPN will offer me 20 million to stay retired from blogging....I will LIVE blog all of my retiring decisions....then I will be traded to Fox Sports. I just won't be the same....

Enjoy the season. It is upon us!